| Never the Twain | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Genre | Sitcom |
| Created by | Johnnie Mortimer |
| Directed by | Peter Frazer-Jones (series 1–3) Robert Reed (series 4–7) Douglas Argent (series 8) Nick Hurran (series 9–10) Anthony Parker (series 11) |
| Starring | Donald Sinden Windsor Davies Maria Charles Teddy Turner Derek Deadman |
| Theme music composer | Jack Trombey |
| Country of origin | United Kingdom |
| Original language | English |
| No. of series | 11 |
| No. of episodes | 67 (list of episodes) |
| Production | |
| Producers | Peter Frazer-Jones (1981–1988) Anthony Parker (1988–1991) |
| Production location | Hersham, Surrey |
| Running time | 30 minutes (including commercials) |
| Production company | Thames Television |
| Original release | |
| Network | ITV |
| Release | 7 September 1981 – 9 October 1991 |
| Infobox instructions (only shown in preview) | |
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. The series starred Windsor Davies (previously known for It Ain't Half Hot, Mum) and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also co-starred Robin Kermode (later replaced by Christopher Morris), Julia Watson (later replaced by Tacy Kneale), Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner, Derek Deadman, Maria Charles and Zara Nutley.
The series was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series, one episode of the seventh, and five out of six episodes of the eighth, with the rest mainly written by John Kane and Vince Powell (who wrote the whole of the last three series). It was made by Thames Television for the ITV network. Since its run ended, it has been repeated a few times, including on UK Gold, Forces TV, and as of July 2023 on ITV3 in their pre-9.00am comedy slot. The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem The Ballad of East and West. The show's theme tune was composed by Jack Trombey, and the track was entitled Domino.