Extending compassion to one's self in instances of suffering or failure
In psychology, self-compassion is extending compassion to one's self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. American psychologist Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main elements – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.[1]
Self-kindness: Self-compassion entails being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism.
Common humanity: Self-compassion also involves recognizing that suffering and personal failure is part of the shared human experience rather than isolating.
Mindfulness: Self-compassion requires taking a balanced approach to one's negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. Negative thoughts and emotions are observed with openness, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which individuals observe their thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them.[2] Conversely, mindfulness requires that one not be "over-identified" with mental or emotional phenomena, so that one suffers aversive reactions.[3] This latter type of response involves narrowly focusing and ruminating on one's negative emotions.[4]
Self-compassion in some ways resembles Carl Rogers' notion of "unconditional positive regard" applied both towards clients and oneself; Albert Ellis' "unconditional self-acceptance"; Maryhelen Snyder's notion of an "internal empathizer" that explored one's own experience with "curiosity and compassion"; Ann Weiser Cornell's notion of a gentle, allowing relationship with all parts of one's being; and Judith Jordan's concept of self-empathy, which implies acceptance, care and empathy towards the self.[5]
Self-compassion is different from self-pity, a state of mind or emotional response of a person believing to be a victim and lacking the confidence and competence to cope with an adverse situation.
Self-compassion has different effects than self-esteem, a subjective emotional evaluation of the self. Although psychologists extolled the benefits of self-esteem for many years, recent research has exposed costs associated with the pursuit of high self-esteem,[12] including narcissism,[13] distorted self-perceptions,[14] contingent and/or unstable self-worth,[15] as well as anger and violence toward those who threaten the ego.[16] As self-esteem is often associated with perceived self-worth in externalised domains such as appearance, academics and social approval, it is often unstable and susceptible to negative outcomes.[17] In comparison, it appears that self-compassion offers the same mental health benefits as self-esteem, but with fewer of its drawbacks such as narcissism, ego-defensive anger, inaccurate self-perceptions, self-worth contingency, or social comparison.[8][18][19]
^Bishop, S. R.; Lau, M.; Shapiro, S.; Carlson, L.; Anderson, N. D.; Carmody, J.; Segal, Z. V. Abbey; Speca, M.; Velting, D. Devins; et al. (2004). "Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition". Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. 11 (3): 191–206. doi:10.1093/clipsy.bph077.
^Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1991). "Responses to depression and their effects on the duration of depressive episodes". Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 100 (4): 569–582. doi:10.1037/0021-843X.100.4.569. PMID1757671.
^Adams, C. E., & Leary, M. R. (in press). Promoting Self-compassionate Attitudes toward Eating Among Restrictive and Guilty Eaters. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
^ abLeary, M. R.; Tate, E. B.; Adams, C. E.; Allen, A. B.; Hancock, J. (2007). "Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 92 (5): 887–904. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.5.887. PMID17484611.
^Neff, K. D.; Hseih, Y.; Dejitthirat, K. (2005). "Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure". Self and Identity. 4 (3): 263–287. doi:10.1080/13576500444000317. S2CID7441315.
^Neff, K. D.; Kirkpatrick, K.; Rude, S. S. (2007). "Self-compassion and its link to adaptive psychological functioning". Journal of Research in Personality. 41: 139–154. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2006.03.004.
^Neff, K. D.; Rude, S. S.; Kirkpatrick, K. (2007). "An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits". Journal of Research in Personality. 41 (4): 908–916. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2006.08.002.
^Bushman, B. J.; Baumeister, R. F. (1998). "Threatened egotism, narcissism, self-esteem, and direct and displaced aggression: Does self-love or self-hate lead to violence?". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 75 (1): 219–229. CiteSeerX10.1.1.337.396. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.75.1.219. PMID9686460.
^Sedikides, C. (1993). "Assessment, enhancement, and verification determinants of the self-evaluation process". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 65 (2): 317–338. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.65.2.317.
^Neff, K. D & Vonk, R. (submitted). Self-compassion versus self-esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself. Manuscript submitted for publication.