Talk:Ed Miliband/Archive 3

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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Ed Miliband/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sceptre (talk • contribs • count) 05:06, 9 September 2011 (UTC)

Hey. First off, I should declare that I'm a paid-up member of the Liberal Democrats. However, Miliband as a person doesn't annoy me as much as the rest of the Labour Party would. Still, I take a policy of putting opinions to one side before I edit :). Along with this review, I'll make very minor grammatical edits. Sceptre (talk) 05:06, 9 September 2011 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    Only minor problems: in the "Early life" section, rewrite the sentence about Ralph Miliband to look like "...was a Belgian-born Marxist thinker who fled with his parents to England during World War II" (this has the bonus of removing one of my pet peeves: citations in the middle of a sentence); in the "Cabinet" section, the anecdote about Postlethwaite could do with better comma placement; in the "Leadership election" section, "Trade Unions" should not be capitalised. If you want to eventually nominate it for FA, I would suggest that you print off the article, if you can, and go through each word. There are several "X, but Y" constructions, which are frowned upon by FA reviewers, but are not a failure condition for a GA.
    I did the suggested rewrite and the capitalization and moved the comma to a slightly better location.. Off2riorob (talk) 22:37, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
    I suggest merging the "Early life" and "Education" sections; they have considerable overlap.
    I did a merge as per the suggestion. Off2riorob (talk) 22:41, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    Refs #7, #21, #48, and #49 need filling out. That's the main issue. -  Done - filled out Off2riorob (talk) 01:08, 11 September 2011 (UTC)) - Suggest also more memorable reference names, and more detail in other refs, but won't fail on that.
    Changed to "Pass". Sceptre (talk) 11:12, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    Needs references for the last two sentences of the "Cabinet" section. They shouldn't be hard to find.
    Still needs a reference for him putting together Labour's 2010 manifesto. Sceptre (talk) 11:12, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
  1. C. No original research:
  2. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    The "Early life" and "Education" sections could do with a little bit more detail, such as school years.
    I added a small addition that he twice lived in Boston for a while as a child and attended a school there. I will bear your comment in mind for possible future improvement. Off2riorob (talk) 22:50, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
    B. Focused:
    I'm a little unsure about whether his votes on Lords reform in 2007 are particularly relevant.
    On looking I agree and it seems cherry picked with no detail to explain why that single issue should be the one chosen - so ..removed. Off2riorob (talk) 22:46, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
  3. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
    Almost neutrally dry; it contains little praise or criticism of him.
    " neutrally dry" - sounds almost encyclopedic. Off2riorob (talk) 22:46, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
  4. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  5. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  6. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
    Only referencing improvements are needed for this to be a GA. I'll check back several times over the next four or five days to see if they've been resolved.
Passed. :) Sceptre (talk) 11:30, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
Great. Many thanks for your reviewing and improvements. Off2riorob (talk) 12:52, 12 September 2011 (UTC)