Talk:Laura Matsuda

This review is transcluded from Talk:Laura Matsuda/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs) 06:45, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: QuicoleJR (talk · contribs) 15:43, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. QuicoleJR (talk) 15:43, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Kung Fu Man: The article is overall pretty good, but I did notice a few things. The article also passes the spot check. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:54, 19 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• a character from 1997's Street Fighter III and its updates. What does “updates” mean here?
  • Removed, not really necessary to grasp in this case.
• In live action portrayals of the character, she was played by Natascha Hopkins for the web mini-series Street Fighter: Resurrection. I think you should cut everything before the first comma. The sentence just doesn't sound right as-is.
  • Restructured
• originally having them exposed in her finalized design “Originally” implies it was later changed, while “finalized design” implies it was not changed. This should be fixed.
  • Fixed
• the character has received mixed reception, with her moveset being praised, but her story and lack of character was criticized. The grammar is incorrect here.
  • Fixed
• while others served more to appeal to the male gaze. What do you mean by that?
  • Fixed to be clearer

• motions related to the sport This part could be worded better.
  • Made more direct
• and revealing varying degrees of her body What are “degrees” of a person's body?
  • Rewrote to be clearer
• and along with her voluptuous body was meant to give her a more pronounced South American look. What does “voluptuous” mean? I might just be dumb here, but there are probably more common words you could use to express this sentiment.
  • Added quote to voluptuous, it's their term not mine.
• but deciding to be "honest with himself" instead. I have no clue what this is supposed to mean here.
  • Tweaked. Was trying to be careful not to put words in his mouth, but I feel the context is the same still with this edit.

• examined her on the grounds of her portrayal of race and feminism, I feel like this sentence would read better if you cut “on the grounds of her”.
  • Fixed
• IMO, the Brazilian Society is too heavily quoted. If possible, I would prefer to have much of this paraphrased.
  • Rewrote

• @QuicoleJR: I think I addressed everything, lemme know if anything else comes up!--Kung Fu Man (talk) 16:19, 20 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  @Kung Fu Man: Sorry for the delay, I have been unexpectedly busy lately. I have looked through the article again, and I see no more issues that need to be fixed. I will now be closing this nomination as successful. QuicoleJR (talk) 16:03, 23 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]