Talk:State Council (Sikkim)

This review is transcluded from Talk:State Council (Sikkim)/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: DreamRimmer (talk · contribs) 13:01, 27 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this one. 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚁𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 ^{𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜} 13:01, 27 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

After carefully reading the page, I must say that, at first glance, I didn't notice any apparent mistakes. The article appears to be well-written and comprehensive, demonstrating a high level of attention to detail and accuracy. I will continue my review to ensure a thorough assessment, but so far, it seems to meet the criteria for a Good article. 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚁𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 ^{𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜} 15:48, 27 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the sentence, The council was composed of some elected members, and some who were nominated by the Chogyal., there is a lack of parallel structure. The first part of the sentence uses the phrase "some elected members," but the second part introduces a relative clause "who were nominated by the Chogyal." To maintain consistency and parallelism, both parts of the sentence should use the same structure. Replace it with The council was composed of some elected members and some nominated by the Chogyal.

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:15, 28 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the third sentence. The phrase This too was presided over by the Dewan of Sikkim lacks clear subject-verb agreement. The correct form should be These too were presided over by the Dewan of Sikkim to match the plural subject "They" in the previous sentence.

 Partly done It's slightly awkward given that the exec council was a singular body composed of more than one councillor. I've changed the structure of the paragraph. See if it works better this way. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:15, 28 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the third sentence of the first paragraph: in the phrase of the kingdom. The correct preposition to use in this context is in the kingdom instead of of the kingdom.

 Done in the working in the kingdom. seemed wrong to me. I've changed the phrase to in the kingdom's administration -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 28 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the second paragraph:

• "6 of the electable seats" should be replaced with "six of the electable seats."
• "6 for the Bhutia-Lepcha (BL) people" should be replaced with "six for the Bhutia-Lepcha (BL) people."
• "4 constituencies" should be replaced with "four constituencies."

• In the last sentence of the second paragraph, please change In the 1953 election, all the Nepali-reserved seats were won by the Sikkim National Party, whie the BL-reserved seats were won by the Sikkim State Congress. to In the 1953 election, all the Nepali-reserved seats were won by the Sikkim National Party, while the BL-reserved seats were won by the Sikkim State Congress. ('whie,' should be 'while)

• Although the term of the council was set as three years, the Chogyal decided to extend the term of the first Council, until 1958. The word "Council" should be capitalized to maintain consistency with the use of "the Chogyal" and to indicate it as a proper noun.

• Replace Due to requests from the monastery associations, and other groups, the number of electable seats on the council was increased by two, one for the Sangha, to be voted on by the monks, and one seat that wasn't reserved for any particular group. with Due to requests from the monastery associations and other groups, the number of electable seats on the Council was increased by two: one for the Sangha, to be voted on by the monks, and one seat that wasn't reserved for any particular group. (or simply replace comma with :}}

• Replace In the elections of 1958, the Sikkim State Congress won one more seat than before, while the unreserved seat was won by an Independent. with In the 1958 elections, the Sikkim State Congress won an additional seat, while the unreserved seat was won by an Independent.

• In the sixth sentence of the fifth paragraph, "1 constituency" should be replaced with "one constituency."

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 28 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

References checked by me (see data below)

1. Reliable/Statement covered: checked Y
2. Reliable/Statement covered: checked Y
3. Reliable/Statement covered: checked Y
4. Reliable/Statement covered: checked Y
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All citations are from reliable sources. no issues

• Fix ref 28's website parameter: website=www.india.gov.in remove www.

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:36, 28 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the First paragraph

• In the second sentence ...which the Chogyal signed, under pressure from India. lacks clarity in terms of who is under pressure from India. It should be which the Chogyal signed under pressure from India. (or simply remove the comma after the Chogyal)

• In the sentence, The Indian Lok Sabha then voted in favour of making Sikkim an 'associate' state, with the Rajya Sabha voting for an amendment on 8 September, giving it a status equal to that of other states, and absorbing it in the Indian Union. is too lengthy and complex. It would be better to break it down into shorter, more concise sentences.
• "The Indian Lok Sabha" should be "The Lok Sabha" since "Lok Sabha" is a specific body.

• In the last sentence, On 8 September, the Chogyal called for a free and fair referendum. lacks context. It would be more informative to include why the Chogyal called for the referendum.

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:43, 29 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the Second paragraph

• In the first sentence of the second paragraph: "whilst" should be replaced with "while" - "whilst" is a less common variant of "while," and it's generally preferable to use "while" in modern writing.

• ...putting the king under house-arrest - The correct phrasing is ...putting the king under house arrest without the hyphen. When using the term "house arrest," it is typically written as two separate words.

• ...which was scheduled to be held in four days later. remove the preposition "in".

• ...the referendum took page The correct word is "place" instead of "page." It should be ...the referendum took place.

• ...resulting in more than 97% of the votes for abolishing the monarchy "for" should be replaced with "in favor of" to indicate the votes' support for the action.

• ...which transformed Sikkim from an Indian protectorate to a new state within the Indian union. This sentence is correct, but you can improve it stylistically by adding a comma after "protectorate" to make the meaning clearer.

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:43, 29 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

In the Last paragraph

• "On 15 May" should be "On 15th May"

• In the last paragraph: This was followed by... can be improved for clarity like Following this, B. B. Lal took charge as Governor of the state on 16th May.

In the same sentence: add "the" before "Governor." When referring to a specific position, like "Governor," we generally use the definite article "the" to specify which Governor is being mentioned. Additionally, there should not be a comma before "on 16th May." Commas are not necessary when specifying a specific date.

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:43, 29 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• The members of the State Council at the time, were deemed to be the Legislative Assembly of the new state of Sikkim, within India. remove the comma after "time."

• I don't think WP:CITELEAD is needed because it has no content that is contentious.

 Done -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:45, 29 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

It appears to be good, however you can remove the unused parameters if you want.

Images are tagged with their copyright status, and appropriate non-free usage rationales are provided for non-free content.

No issues, checked.

No issues, checked.

No issues, checked. I think you should remove "Bombay Legislative Assembly" (okay if not)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   no issues, pass.

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

   MOS compliant.

2. Is it verifiable with no original research?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

   The citations are from reliable sources. Passes a spot check for verifiability.

   C. It contains no original research:

   Evidently none.

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

   Nothing was found manually or using Erwing's copyvio detector.

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   no issues, passed.

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

   Nothing undue, stays within scope.

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

   no issues, passed.

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

   no content conflicts or edit wars. passed

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   No issues, checked.

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

   No issues, checked.

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

I'll post more comments tomorrow. 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚁𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 ^{𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜} 17:37, 27 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent work @MPGuy2824:, I don't see any more issues. Passing now. 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚁𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 ^{𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜} 10:48, 29 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]