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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/A-Class review

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Yugoslav torpedo boat T6

Lead

  • Originally [named] 93 F, [the vessel was] a 250t-class torpedo boat of the Austro-Hungarian Navy built in 1915–1916, [and] she was armed with two 66 mm (2.6 in) guns[,] and four 450 mm (17.7 in) torpedo tubes and could carry 10–12 naval mines.
What do you think?
  • Following Austria-Hungary's defeat in 1918, 93 was allocated to the Navy of the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes, which later became the Royal Yugoslav Navy, and was renamed T6.
The general rule in writing is when two numbers come next to each other–back-to-back–in a sentence one should be spelled out. Since this seems impractical, suggest moving 1918. -> Following Austria-Hungary's 1918 defeat, 93...
  • During the interwar period, T6 and the rest of the navy were involved in training exercises and cruises to friendly ports, but activity was limited by reduced naval budgets.
  • "T6 and the rest of the navy were involved in training exercises and cruises to friendly ports" -> do you mean the navy's fleet or ships took cruises to friendly ports?
  • Drop the comma between ports, & but

Background

  • In 1910, the Austria-Hungary Naval Technical Committee initiated the design and development of a 275-tonne (271-long-ton) coastal torpedo boat, specifying that it should be capable of sustaining 30 knots (56 km/h; 35 mph) for 10 hours.[1][2]
the design and development of a 275-tonne (271-long-ton) coastal... -> why isn't it the & the or a & a?
  • This design would have been a larger and better-armed vessel than the existing Austro-Hungarian 400-tonne (390-long-ton) Huszár-class destroyers.[3]
"would have been" or was?
  • The specification for the high seas torpedo boat was based on an expectation that the Strait of Otranto, where the Adriatic Sea meets the Ionian Sea, would be blockaded by hostile forces during a future conflict.
specifications?
  • In such circumstances, there would be a need for a torpedo boat that could sail from the Austro-Hungarian Navy (‹See Tfd›German: kaiserliche und königliche Kriegsmarine, Hungarian: Császári és Királyi Haditengerészet) base at the Bocche di Cattaro (the Bocche or Bay of Kotor) to the strait during the night, locate and attack blockading ships and return to port before morning.
<?>
  • Steam turbine power was selected for propulsion, as diesels with the necessary power were not available, and the Austro-Hungarian Navy did not have the practical experience to run turbo-electric boats.[2]
<?>
  • Despite having developed these ideas, the Austro-Hungarian Navy then asked shipyards to submit proposals for a 250 t (250-long-ton) boat with a maximum speed of 28 kn (52 km/h; 32 mph).[1]
asked several, some, or a few shipyards?
  • Stabilimento Tecnico Triestino (STT) of Triest was [awarded] selected for the contract to build the first eight vessels , [that were] designated as the T-group.
Look this over
  • Another tender was requested for four more boats, but when Ganz & Danubius reduced their price by ten per cent, a total of sixteen boats were ordered from them, designated the F-group.[2]
Drop the comma after %

Description

  • The 250t-class F-group boats had short raised forecastles and an open bridge, and were fast and agile, well designed for service in the Adriatic.[5]
Look this version over -> The 250t-class F-group boats had short raised forecastles with open bridges and were fast, agile and well designed for service in the Adriatic.
  • The boats were powered by two AEG-Curtis steam turbines driving two propellers, using steam generated by two Yarrow water-tube boilers,[2] one of which burned fuel oil and the other coal.[4]
This follows the General characteristics described in the Info Box:The boats were powered with steam generated by two Yarrow water-tube boilers–one burned fuel oil and the other coal–and they were propelled by two AEG-Curtis steam turbines with two propellers.

and they were propelled by two AEG-Curtis steam turbines driving two shafts.

  • 93 T and the rest of the 250t class were classified as high seas torpedo boats by the Austro-Hungarian Navy, despite being smaller than the original concept for a coastal torpedo boat.[1][8]
Starting a sentence with a numeral is consider bad form by many style gujides
  • The naval historian Zvonimir Freivogel states that this type of situation was common due to the parsimony of the Austro-Hungarian Navy.[1]
"due to the parsimony"?
  • *due to modifies nouns and because of modifies verbs and adjectives -> parsimony is an adjective
  • parsimony will send most of us scrambling for the dictionary -> How about frugal, penny-pinching, or something more reader friendly?
  • The crew consisted of three officers and thirty-eight enlisted men.[9]
The crews of the class or group?
  • The vessel carried one 4 m (13 ft) yawl as a ship's boat.[10]
the vessels carried?
  • They were the first small Austro-Hungarian Navy boats to use turbines, and this contributed to ongoing problems with them,[2] which [that] had to be progressively solved once they [the boats] were in service.[5]
Look the above changes over
  • Four mounting points were installed so that the machine gun could be mounted in the most effective position depending on the expected direction of attack.[13]
installed on what?
  • The boat could also carry 10–12 naval mines.[4]
The boats or class?

World War I

  • The original concept of operation for the 250t-class boats was that they would sail in a flotilla at the rear of a cruising battle formation, and were to intervene in fighting only if the battleships around which the formation was established were disabled, or in order to attack damaged enemy battleships.[16]

<?>

  • When a torpedo attack was ordered, it was to be led by a scout cruiser, supported by two destroyers to repel any enemy torpedo boats.
Consider this version -> Whenever a torpedo attack was ordered to repel enemy torpedo boats, it was to be led by a scout cruiser and supported by two destroyers.
  • On 3 May 1916, 93 F and five other 250-class torpedo boats were accompanying four destroyers when they were involved in a surface action off Porto Corsini against an Italian force led by the flotilla leaders Cesare Rossarol and Guglielmo Pepe.
Consider this version -> On 3 May 1916, 93 F and five other 250-class torpedo boats were accompanying four destroyers when they were involved in a surface action against an Italian force off Porto Corsini led by the flotilla leaders Cesare Rossarol and Guglielmo Pepe.
  • On 12 June, 93 F and her M-group sisters 98 M and 99 M were tasked to search for the Nembo-class destroyer Zeffiro and two small torpedo boats after they had attacked the town of Parenzo on the west Istrian coast, but the Italian ships escaped unharmed>,[20] apart from Zeffiro which [that] was damaged in an [the] attack by seaplanes.[21]
  • Consider the above changes.
  • BTW, if this is the first mention of the M-group should something be said in this regard?
  • On 29 October she underwent repairs at the main Austro-Hungarian naval base at Pola in the northern Adriatic.[22]
<?> Was it for specfic repairs or for routine maintenance?


In 1917, one of 93 F's 66 mm guns may have been placed on an anti-aircraft mount. According to the naval historian Zvonimir Freivogel, sources vary on whether these mounts were added to all boats of the class, and on whether these mounts were added to the forward or aft gun.[23] In March, the noted inventor Dagobert Müller von Thomamühl was in command of the boat with the rank of Linienschiffsleutnant.[22][b] At this time, 93 F was allocated to the 7th Torpedo Boat Group of the 5th Torpedo Division.[25] On 11 May 1917, 93 F, 96 F and 78 T, accompanied by the Huszár-class destroyer Csikós, unsuccessfully pursued the British submarine HMS H1 after the submarine had stalked 78 T off Pola, missing her with two torpedoes.[26] On 21 May, the suffix of all Austro-Hungarian torpedo boats was removed, and thereafter they were referred to only by the numeral.[2] Also in May, 93 conducted several minesweeping missions. On 3-4 June, 93, along with 96, and Csikós and her sister ships Wildfang and Velebit were returning from a seaplane support mission when Wildfang struck a mine and sank, with 93 assisting with the rescue of her surviving crew. On 11 July, 93 was transferred south from Pola to the Bocche. On 23 September, she was patrolling near the mouth of the Bojana river that marks the border between Montenegro and Albania, when an unidentified Allied submarine fired a torpedo at her, but it passed under her hull without exploding. During 1917, 93 conducted further minesweeping missions, and escorted 36 convoys.[27]

On 1 February 1918, a mutiny broke out among the sailors of some vessels of the Austro-Hungarian Navy at the Đenovići anchorage within the Bocche, largely over poor food, lack of replacement uniforms and supplies, and insufficient leave, although the poor state of the Austro-Hungarian economy and its impact on their families was also a factor.[28] In response, the three Erzherzog Karl-class pre-dreadnought battleships of the 3rd Division were despatched from Pola to the Bocche the following day to put down the rebellion, and 93 was part of their escort.[22] In the event, the mutiny had been suppressed before they arrived,[29] and 93 returned to Pola with the battleships soon after.[22][30] On 22 April, 93 was part of an escort for the dreadnoughts Viribus Unitis and Szent István when they sailed to the Fasana Channel – between the Brijuni islands and the Istrian peninsula – for gunnery practice.[22] 93 escorted the minelayer Camäleon while she laid a minefield on 22 July. On 11 August, 93, along with her sisters 78 and 80, the destroyer Warasdiner and the submarine chasers Arsa and Slavija, were despatched to chase the Italian submarine F7 which had sunk the steamship Euterpe off the island of Pag, but had to terminate the pursuit due to poor weather. Two days later she joined the vessels of the anti-submarine flotilla in a hunt, but despite claims of success, no enemy submarine was sunk. On 20 August, 93 was transferred to the Bocche,[22] and was part of the 1st Torpedo Flotilla.[31] On 29 September, 93 along with 82, 87 and 96, and the Ersatz Triglav-class destroyers Lika, Dukla and Uzsok laid mines in the Bay of Drim off northern Albania.[32] During 1918, 93 also performed 55 more convoy escorts. As the end of the war approached in November and the Austro-Hungarian Empire broke apart, on 1 November 93 was ceded to the State of Slovenes, Croats and Serbs,[22] which was a short-lived fragment of the empire which united with the Kingdom of Serbia and Kingdom of Montenegro on 1 December, becoming the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes (from 1929, the Kingdom of Yugoslavia).[33]

Interwar period


























Ernest J. King

Lead

  • This was replaced by COMINCH in December, 1941, under the Executive Order 8984, when it was redefined and given operational command over the Atlantic, Pacific, and Asiatic Fleets, as well as all naval coastal forces.[1]
  • December, 1941, -> MOS: For month and year, write June 1921, with no comma."
  • No comma is used before as well as if the phrase is used as in addition to or to make a simple comparison.
  • He directed the United States Navy's operations, planning, and administration and was a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Combined Chiefs of Staff and was the U.S. Navy's second-most senior officer in World War II after Fleet Admiral William D. Leahy, who served as Chief of Staff to the Commander in Chief.
  • The word and is repeated four times in this sentence?
  • Some of what appears in the latter part of the sentence would seen to fall more within the realm of detail than that of summary?
  • King served in the Spanish–American War while still attending the United States Naval Academy, whence he graduated fourth in the class of 1901.
When two independent clause are joined by a comma they also are preceded by a coordinating conjunction like and. -> Whence is not a coordinating conjunction, but it (or from where) is suitwble to bridge the two clauses without the help of a comma.
  • He received his first command in 1914, of the destroyer USS Terry in the occupation of Veracruz.
Another way to say it: He received his first command of the destroyer USS Terry in 1914 during the occupation of Veracruz. Or, His first command was the destroyer USS terry in 1914, which was during the occupation of Veracruz.
  • He participated in the top-level Allied World War II conferences, and took the lead in formulating the strategy of the Pacific War.
  • An independent–main–clause and a dependent–subordinte– clause are not joined by a comma. -> Drop the comma or add a subject noun or pronoun to the dependent clause.
  • Drop the definite article before top-level -> conferences were not specific

Early life

  • His father initially worked as a bridge builder, but moved to Lorain, where he worked in a railway repair shop.
A comma before the word where is unnecessary when what follows is essential to the meaning of the sentence.
  • The family moved to Uhrichsville, Ohio, when his father took a position with the Pennsylvania Railroad workshops, but returned to Lorain a year later.
  • Change when to where
  • Drop the comma after workshops or add a subject noun or pronoun
  • When King was eleven years old, the family moved to Cleveland, where his father was a foreman at the Valley Railway workshops, and King was educated at the Fowler School.
A comma after Cleveland is unnecessary
  • He decided to go to work rather than high school, and took a position with a company that made typesetting machines.
  • Add attend between than & high school
  • Drop the comma after high school or add a subject noun or pronoun
  • During the summer breaks, naval cadets served on ships to accustom them to life at sea, so while still at the Naval Academy, King served on the cruiser USS San Francisco during the Spanish–American War.[8]
  • During the summer breaks -> summer breaks is not specific.
The last to should be for -> for modifies nouns -> to modifies verbs

Surface ships

  • In June 1906, it escorted the Russian cruisers Oleg, Aurora and Zhemchug, survivors of the Battle of Tsushima, into Manila Bay, where they were interned.[13]
  • Add a comma after Aurora and drop the comma after Manila Bay
  • Bouts of heavy drinking led to King being put under hatches, and a forthright and arrogant attitude bordering on insubordination led to adverse comments in his fitness reports.[14]
Some of the content of the above sentence–according to my copy of Master of Seapower–doesn't square well with the source, Buell-pages 24 & 25.
  • "Bouts of heavy drinking led to King being put under hatches" -> Indirectly, perhaps, but not directly. His punishment was for the disrespect and beavior shown toward his executive officer—
  • forthright (British) is two weeks) -> It was for 10 days and suspended the following day.
  • The source also tells us that 18 months later King was put under hatches again.p
Rephrase the sentence and provide readers some context
No transitional phrase to help bridge these sequential sentences?
  • When he heard heard that members of the Annapolis class of 1902 were being sent home from the Asiatic Fleet, he sought and obtained an audience with Rear Admiral Charles J. Train.
  • See above
  • How about a bit of context here, including how an ensign who was put under hatches received an audience with a rear admiral?
  • Train agreed that King was entitled to go home and arranged for him to travel on the former hospital ship USS Solace, which departed on 27 June.[15]
  • Context? -> when or where did King request to go home?
  • Was he granted Leave or reassigned?
  • She took little interest in King's naval career, and confined her activities to her children and domestic affairs.[23]
Drop the comma after career and substitute of the er(s)
  • King's next assignment was as a gunnery officer on the battleship USS Alabama.
When did he go aboard and what were his duties?
  • King became a critic of shipboard organization, which was largely unchanged since the days of sail. He published his thoughts in Some Ideas About Organization on Board Ship in the United States Naval Institute Proceedings, which won a prize for best essay in 1909. "The writer fully realizes the possible opposition," he wrote, "for if there is anything more characteristic of the navy than its fighting ability, it is its inertia to change, or conservatism, or the clinging to things that are old because they are old."[24][25] In addition to a gold medal, the prize came with $500 (equivalent to $17,000 in 2023) and a lifetime membership of the United States Naval Institute.[26]
Tell readers why this type of publication by a jr. officer was acceptable to his superiors.

lieutenant (junior grade).

  • This involved traveling to Washington, D.C., for ten days of physical examinations and tests of his professional knowledge in May 1906.[27]
Change tests to testing - testing measures the level of skill or knowledge that has been reached
  • The final hurdle was an appearance before the selection board, which drew attention to his record of punishments for drinking and insubordination, before congratulating King on his promotion, which became effective on 7 June 1906.[24]
  • Change the first which to who
  • Replace comma which with that
  • Tell readers what kng was ordered to do before receiving his promotion
  • Duty afloat alternated with duty ashore, so King's next assignment was at Annapolis, where he taught ordnance, gunnery and seamanship.
  • Drop the comma between Annapolis and where -> when what follows where is essential to the meaming of the sentence no comma is used
  • Add comma after gunnery
  • This posting reunited him with Mattie, who had been living with her family in Baltimore.
posting is a British military term -> assignment is customarily the u.s. Navy term
  • In December 1915, King joined the staff of Vice Admiral Henry T. Mayo, the Commander in Chief, of the Atlantic Fleet.
Why the comma after Chief?
  • He received his first command, the destroyer USS Terry on 30 April 1914, participating in the United States occupation of Veracruz, escorting a mule transport from Galveston, Texas. He then moved on to his second command, a more modern destroyer, the USS Cassin on 18 July 1914.
Replace , escorting with by escorting
  • In December 1915, King joined the staff of Vice Admiral Henry T. Mayo, the Commander in Chief, of the Atlantic Fleet.
Why the comma after Chief?
  • After the United States entered World War I, King was a frequent visitor to the Royal Navy and occasionally saw action as an observer on board British ships.[31]
How about some context
  • He was awarded the Navy Cross "for distinguished service in the line of his profession as assistant chief of staff of the Atlantic Fleet."[32]
Are these" " marks or marks for empharse
  • King was the last to continue this tradition.[33]
Last American or Brit, or both?
  • He bought a house there, where his family lived from then on.
He bought a house -> Todays reader might view this as chauvinistic
  • With Captains Dudley Knox and William S. Pye, King prepared a report on naval training that recommended changes to naval training and career paths, which gained wide circulation when he published it in the Proceedings.
  • he or they published it?
  • Will readers know what Proceedings is?
  • Leahy told him he was too junior for a seagoing captain's command, and that nothing was available.
Drop the comma after command
  • After some discussion, King eventually accepted command of USS Bridge, a stores ship.
the USS Bridge


Aside from having read Master of Seapower, I decided to review the article because Wikipedians are asked to Consider reviewing another nominated article for every one they nominate. I suspected that my own military service–albeit at a modest level–aboard two U.S. Navy destroyers could help me in navigating the article.














Olivia Blacke

Self Publishing or Traditional Publishing: Which is More Profitable

Your country needs you–by Thelma M. Robinson–is a self-published book, meaning that she is the author and publisher of it with Xlibis provdng the how to and on demand printing. Traditional book publishers select only about one to two percent of all authors, making self-publishing a viable and attainable alternative for authors who are not a notable business leader, celebrity, or influenceres.<>Source<>

Robinson is a graduate of the Cadet Nurse Corps nursing program who received her nursing degree from the Lincoln General Hospital School of Nursing in Lincoln, Nebraska.








Self-Publishing Costs:

Self-publishing is about as expensive as you choose it to be. If you hire professionals to help you with ea


















Boot Monument - ACR - 9/5/24

Lead

  • Erected in 1887 by John Watts de Peyster, it commemorates Major General Benedict Arnold's service at the Battles of Saratoga in the Continental Army, but does not mention him on the monument because Arnold later betrayed the Continental Army for the British Army.
  • Change Erected in to Erected during
  • Add while between Saratoga & in
  • Since the monument was sculptured before it was erected, why doesn't Bissell get equal billing with de Peyster? (de Peyster begins the paragraph and Bissell ends the paragraph)
  • Arnold continued to grow ever more bitter towards the Continental Army when he was passed over for promotion, lost his business, and was court-martialed for abusing his power as military commander of Philadelphia.
and he was court-martialed...

Background

  • American Major General Benedict Arnold had contributed to both Battles of Saratoga, although the extent of his contributions to the first battle, the Battle of Freeman's Farm, are disputed.[4][5]
Could you briefly share with readers the nature of the dispute(s)?
  • Gates did not make much mention of Arnold's contributions in his report of the aftermath of the battle,[10] which contributed to Arnold's bitterness, along with his combat wounds, business troubles, Congress having promoted some rival and younger generals ahead of him, and a court martial after being convicted of two minor charges of using his role as military commander of Philadelphia to make a profit.[11]
  • This sentence contains about 65 words -> consider breaking it up
  • Add a hyphen to court martial
  • This, along with the fact that his wife, Peggy Shippen, came from a family of Loyalists, caused Arnold to start making communications with the British army, with Sir Henry Clinton finally offering Arnold £20,000 for the capture of West Point,[12] a fortification that was important to the control of the Hudson River.[13]
  • Drop the comma afterThis
  • Replace comma (,) with with a semiclon
  • £20,000 -> what was the equivalent in continental currency?
  • Arnold fled to the British army, and remained as a general there until the war ended.[14][15]
  • Drop the comma after army or add he between and remained
  • Arnold fled to the British army, -> where?

History

  • John Watts de Peyster, a former major general for the New York State Militia during the American Civil War,[16] writer of several military histories about the Battle of Saratoga, and a vice president of the SMA,[2] wanted to commemorate Arnold's contribution to the Continental Army's victory over the British[1] and was unsatisfied with the Saratoga Battle Monument, where the niche where a statue of Arnold should have gone would remain empty.[17]
  • A 71 word sentence -> consider breaking it up
  • of the New York State Militia
  • a writer of...
  • Reaibility of the last clause? If it is essential to the meaning of the sentence then delete the comma before the frst where
  • De Peyster considered Arnold a traitor, but still recognized his contributions at Saratoga.
Drop the comma after traitor or add he between but & still
  • He wanted to "honor some of Arnold's deeds without honoring the man"[1] but thought that simply a slab of granite to commemorate Arnold "would not do."[2]
If the above is meant as " " marks then it will need attribution. If it is meant as emphasis it will look like so.
  • He commissioned George Edwin Bissell,[2][3] who had designed other statues that Peyster had erected,[1] to sculpt a marker in white marble.[2]
Should it be de Peyster?
  • The toe of the Boot Monument was stolen by college boys on a trip[21][22] and they were only discovered when an anonymous informer (described as "a graduate of a New York State educational institution") told the battlefield official that the toe was stolen.[23]
on a trip -> This term has more than a single meanings - what does it mean here?
  • The monument was originally located at the top of the hill at the Breymann Redoubt site, but was later moved after further research as to where Arnold injured his leg, which was the more southern end of the main redoubt line.[26]
Add it between but & was
  • The time at which this happened is disputed with some sources saying 1975,[3][27] while others say 1972.
Drop the comma after while
  • However, the monument was still at the Breymann Redoubt before the time of its move, and is still at the southern end of the redoubt.[1][28][29]
Drop the comma after move or add it between and & is

Appearance

  • It features a howitzer barrel, with a left-footed horseman's riding boot[4][33][34] and a two-star epaulette for a major general on top of the barrel.[36][37]
Drop the comma after barrel
  • One error in the inscription was that Arnold did not earn the rank of Major General after, and because of, Saratoga, but he became more senior than the other officers that had been promoted before him.[1]
  • was that or is that?

This is it for now, except to say: The article, in my view, is unique in American history and it's interesting and well done. It strikes me; however, that while the monument and Arnold would not seem severable, there is little in the article itself telling readers the most basic things about him.









  • The words also change with the addition of suffixes and prefixes to them, and one such suffix is 'ing'. The 'ing' words are used in the present, past and future continuous tenses. The words having 'ing' as the suffix can be used to refer to those verbs which are going on or were going on or will be going on.





  • SPARS is about the Women who served in the U.S. Coast Guard Women's Reserve during WW II. Created by the U.S Congress, it authorized the USCG to replace male officers and enlisted men with women at shore stations. Working with the top-secret LORAN project was its most unique assignment. LORAN was a land-based radio navigation system developed to monitor locations of ships at sea and aircraft in flight. Monitoring stations were able to calculate a ship's exact location by measuring the amount of time each signal took to reach a ship. Chatham, Massachusetts, was staffed by SPARS and believed to be the only all-female staffed monitoring station of its kind in the world.
  • A comma before the word “where” is necessary, when it is part of a non-restrictive clause introducing additional information that is not necessary for the meaning of the main sentence.

Comma Before “Where” ~ Rules & Examples - BachelorPrint

An independent–main–clause and a dependent–subordinte–clause are not joined by a comma. -> Drop the comma or add a subject noun or pronoun to the dependent

Quite simply, repetition is the repeating of a word or phrase. It is a common rhetorical device used to add emphasis and stress in writing and speech. Repetition is widely used in both poetry and prose; throughout all genres and forms of literature and oral tradition. Aside from helping stress or highlight important thoughts and points, repetition can be a key tool for authors and speakers in developing style, tone, and rhythm. Repetition reinforces themes, emphasizes key points, creates rhythm, and effectively enhances emotional impact within storytelling narratives. Repetition can add depth and meaning to your stories by reinforcing key points and creating a sense of emphasis.












Mattie considered educated women to be vulgar. She took little interest in King's naval career, and confined her activities to her children and domestic affairs.[23]

King's next assignment was as a gunnery officer on the battleship USS Alabama.










John Silva Meehan

  • After the firm moved to Washington, D.C., in early 1822, Meehan began editing and publishing the Baptist weekly newspaper The Columbian Star.
Suggest: ...Meehan began editing and publishing The Columbian Star, which was a Baptist weekly newspaper.
  • Leaving the Star in late 1825, Meehan nominally purchased the City of Washington Gazette on direction from Andrew Jackson's presidential campaign, renaming the paper the United States' Telegraph and taking an immensely partisan stance.
In multi-party systems, pro-parison is used for persons who strongly support their party's policies?
  • Jackson supporters considered Meehan unable to properly spearhead the press campaign.
Should the be their?
  • Control over the paper gradually shifted towards editor and publisher Duff Green, with Meehan officially leaving the paper in October 1826; however, he continued to serve as Green's editor until 1829.
  • towards vs toward: FYI -> the only difference between toward and towards is the sp. Both spellings are correct, and they mean the same thing: in the direction of. According to some, toward is the preferred spelling in the United States and Canada. In other English-speaking countries, such as the United Kingdom and Australia, towards is the more common spelling.








































































'


































Jozo Tomasevich FAC-/5/24

Lead:

Look these changes over
  • His final book was the second volume of the series – War and Revolution in Yugoslavia 1941–1945: Occupation and Collaboration – which was published posthumously in 2001 after editing by his daughter Neda.
after usually means -> in the time following an event or another period <-> in which case, it soumds like the book was edited after its publication - what am I missing?
  • In an obituary in the Slavic Review, Tomasevich was described as "a master of scholarly skills, a person of bountiful erudition, wit and human dignity".
Why is an not his?

Early life

  • Košarni Do is a hamlet of Donja Banda and is today part of the Orebić municipality within the Dubrovnik-Neretva County of Croatia.[1]
today?
  • Nado returned to the village in 1894, [and he] married the daughter of his first cousin and worked as a farmer.
Suggest these changes
  • In 1938, he was the recipient of a two-year Rockefeller fellowship and moved to the US,[3] thereby "availing himself of the rich resources of Harvard University".
"availing himself of the rich resources of Harvard University" -> If this is a direct quote, should there be attribution-if not, then should italics be used?
  • The other brother living in Košarni Do received the share of the fourth brother who, by then, was a merchant mariner living in New Zealand.[4]
Could drop "other"
  • Before the outbreak of World War II – and now known by the anglicised Tomasevich – he moved to California.
and then known
  • In 1937, Tomasevich married Neda Brelić, a high school teacher. They were happily married for 57 years and had three children – Anthony, Neda Ann, and Lasta. In 1976, Tomasevich contributed an essay to a book in which he conducted a sociological and historical analysis of his extended family reaching back to the early nineteenth century.
Somehow,Chronologically, these sentences seem out of order?
  • His widow Neda died on July 5, 2002, at 88.[8]
Is where she died relative?

Yugoslavia's economy

  • The first appeared in German in 1934 and was titled Die Staatsschulden Jugoslaviens (The National Debt of Yugoslavia).
during 1934
  • The following year, he had Financijska politika Jugoslavije, 1929–1934 (Fiscal Policy of Yugoslavia, 1929–1934) published in Serbo-Croatian, covering much of the same material but more accessible to Yugoslavs.[1]
  • Does 1929-1934 need to be repeated?
  • which covered
  • A 1940 review of the book in Weltwirtschaftliches Archiv, by Professor Mirko Lamer – who later served with the United Nations as an expert at the Food and Agriculture Organization – described Novac i kredit as an important work that filled a large gap in Yugoslav economic literature, and also gave a vivid picture of then-current economic theory.[9]
and it also

International marine resources and Yugoslav peasants

  • The first [book] was International Agreements on Preservation of Marine Resources, [that was] published by Stanford University Press in 1943.
Suggest the above changes
  • The second book, Peasants, Politics, and Economic Change in Yugoslavia [was] published in 1955, was [and] described by Vucinich as "a study of monumental scope [which] has been widely recognized as the most comprehensive and accomplished study in the field".
Suggest the above changes

World War II

  • In 1957, Tomasevich received a San Francisco State University grant for Slavic and Eastern European studies.[12]
Suggest -> In 1957, Tomasevich received a grant from San Francisco State University for Slavic and Eastern European studies.[12]
  • The first volume focused on the Chetnik movement led by Draža Mihailović, which was subtitled The Chetniks and appeared in 1975.
In the context used, what does appeared mean?
  • Soon after it was published, the book was reviewed by Phyllis Auty, professor of modern history at Simon Fraser University.
Replace the comma with "who was a
  • The third volume in the planned trilogy, which was to cover the Partisans, was 75 per cent complete at the time of his death,[1] and remains unpublished.
and it

This is it for now.



CSS General Earl Van Dorn ACR 6/23/24


Lead

  • General Earl Van Dorn was purchased for Confederate service at New Orleans, Louisiana, in early 1862 for service with the River Defense Fleet.
Change for service with to serve with
  • Her conversion into a cottonclad warship involved installing an iron-covered framework of timbers to her bow to serve as a ram, and protecting her machinery with timber bulkheads packed with cotton.
Her conversion -> She was converted
The general rule: A subject pronoun (she) is used in the subject of a sentence. A subject pronoun indicates who or what the sentence is about. An object pronoun (her) is used to indicate what receives the action in a sentence.
Suggest -> She was converted into a cottonclad warship by installing an iron-covered framework of timbers to her bow that would serve as a ram, and the ship's machinery was protected with timber bulkheads packed with cotton.
  • General Earl Van Dorn left New Orleans in late March 1862 and arrived at Memphis, Tennessee, early the next month.
For what purpose?
  • Suggest adding this or something like it -> The Van Dorn was a Side-wheeler powered by steam and was 182 feet (55 m) long. She carried a single cannon on her bow—a 32-pounder. (BTW, the dictionary spells it Side-wheeler as does the link.

Purchase and conversion

  • The ships were intended to defend the Mississippi River.[2]
What part?
  • The vessels of the River Defense Fleet were intended to be used as rams,[8] and were known as cottonclads.[9]
and they were known
  • Their conversion into warships involved adding 1 inch (2.5 cm) of iron plating backed by 4 inches (10 cm) of oak planking, on a framework of one-foot-square timbers to the bow.
Why the comma between oak planking & on?
  • The engines and boilers were protected by an inner bulkhead of one-foot-square timbers, with an outer bulkhead of six-by-twelve timbers.
  • Why the comma after timbers?
  • General Earl Van Dorn was placed under the command of Captain Isaac Fulkerson,[11] and left New Orleans for Memphis, Tennessee, on March 25.[7] Defense Fleet.
and it left
  • The Confederate States War Department desired for [that] the ships to serve in the Tennessee, Kentucky, and Missouri area to protect [this] that portion of the Mississippi River, while [but] local interests pushed for the ships to remain at New Orleans.
Suggest the above changes
  • Rather than sending all of the ships upriver, the Confederate commander at New Orleans, Major General Mansfield Lovell[,] held part of the fleet at New Orleans , after a river barrier defending New Orleans failed.[12]
Suggest the above changes
  • General Earl Van Dorn was armed with a single cannon on her bow – a 32-pounder cannon,[14] which was a common naval gun that was smoothbore and muzzleloading.[15]
Suggest: General Earl Van Dorn was armed with a single 32-pounder cannon on her bow, which was a common naval gun that was smoothbore and muzzleloading.
  • Conspicuously absent is anything on the machimery that powered and propelled the Side-wheeler.


Plum Point Bend and Memphis

  • On May 10, [add year] the Confederates attacked , bringing on the Battle of Plum Point Bend.[7]
Suggest the above changes
  • Seven of the Confederate vessels [envolved] were arranged in order of speed , with the fastest vessels at the front; General Earl Van Dorn was fourth in the column.[18]
Suggest the above changes
  • Mongomery's ships reached Memphis on June 5, but there was a shortage of coal for their fuel.
Mongomery's -> sp
  • At a council of war, Montgomery and his captains decided to fight the pursuing Union forces, rather than scuttle their ships and retreat overland with the army or scuttle a portion of the fleet and use the remaining coal to escape with the rest.[26]

Drop the comma after forces and add a comma after aarmy

  • Montgomery arranged his ships in three rows of two vessels, with General Sterling Price in the rear and CSS Little Rebel not having an assigned position.
Why the comma after vessels?
  • General Earl Van Dorn was in the third row, along with General Bragg.[27]
Why the comma after row?
  • The heavy guns of the ironclads and the ramming tactics of the United States Ram Fleet had been decisive at Memphis.[29]
Replacae had been with was
  • The cotton cladding on General Bragg caught fire and that vessel had to be abandoned.[30]
Replace that vessel had to be with it was
  • The wreck was removed by the United States Army Corps of Engineers in 1878 and 1879.[35]
The wreckage






















[






The article was promoted to GA in July 2016, but it has since been overhauled and worked over by the GOCE during March/April 2024.





. Its purpose was to release male officers and enlisted men for sea duty by replacing them with women at shore stations. This same month, Dorothy C. Stratton was appointed director of the Women's Reserve and given the rank of lieutenant commander. She was later promoted to captain.








Christine Valdez—according to the USCG—enlisted on November 8, 1943, and she is identified as the first Hispanic female to have served in the SPARs.[1] A Utah native, Valdez served at the Seattle SPAR Barracks as a Pharmacist Mate Third Class (PM3C). Several other Hispanic women enlisted during 1943, including: Hope Garcia—Yeoman Second Class (Y2C)— who served in New Orleans; Maria Nunez—Storekeeper (SK)—served in Cleveland, and Nora Lopez—Radioman Third Class (RM3C)—who served in Washington, D.C. and New York. The following year, Olga Perdomo—Storekeeper (SK)—and Maria Flores—Seaman First Class—also enlisted. Perdomo served in the supply office in New York and Flores used her bilingual skills at the District Office in Long Beach, California. Mary Elizabeth Rivero—Lieutenant (junior grade) (Lt. (j.g.)—joined the SPARs on December 4, 1943 and was the first Hispanic American female to become a commissioned officer in the USCG. Her duties included overseeing the identification office and the barracks in Long Beach, California.































Boot Monument


Lead:


  • it commemorates Major General Benedict Arnold's service at the Battles of Saratoga in the Continental Army, but does not mention him on the monument because of Arnold's betrayal to the British Army.
  • [while] in the continental army...
  • but [the monument] does not...
  • Instead, it commemorates Arnold as the "most brilliant soldier of the Continental Army".
For emphasis, the MOS suggests using italics-...



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Emphasis Main page: Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Text formatting § Emphasis Italics are used for emphasis, rather than boldface or capitals. But overuse diminishes its effect; consider rewriting instead. Use ... or ... for emphasis. This allows user style sheets to handle emphasis in a customized way, and helps reusers and translators.[2] Correct: The meerkat is not actually a cat. Correct: The meerkat is not actually a cat. Titles











































































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Cora Agnes Benneson Pronouns






Jozo Tomasevich ACR 3/29/24

PM - I'm reversing myself and posting my comments at this time. If some overlapping occurs, you have my apology. Regards!

Lead

  • Josip "Jozo" Tomasevich (1908 – October 15, 1994; Serbo-Croatian: Josip Tomašević) was an American economist and historian who was a leading expert on the economic and social history of the former Yugoslavia, and after his retirement was appointed professor emeritus of economics at San Francisco State University.
  • was an American economist and historian -> how is this specifically exemplified in the body of the article?
  • and after his retirement "he" was
  • Tomasevich was born in the Kingdom of Dalmatia, part of Austria-Hungary, and after completing his schooling, gained a doctorate in economics at the University of Basel in Switzerland.
"he" "earned"
  • In the mid-1930s, he worked at the National Bank of Yugoslavia in Belgrade and published three well-received books on Yugoslav national debt, fiscal policy, and money and credit, respectively.
  • Should it be "Yugoslav's" national debt...?
  • Drop the comma after credit
  • In 1938, he moved to the US as the recipient of a two-year Rockefeller fellowship and conducted research at Harvard University before joining the academic staff of Stanford University.
US -> first use?
  • He combined research and teaching there for twenty-five years until his retirement in 1973, broken by a year teaching at Columbia University in 1954.
"which was" broken by a year "of" teaching at
  • Between 1943 and 1955, Tomasevich published two books on economic matters, one focused on marine resources and the other on the peasant economy of Yugoslavia, both of which were positively reviewed.
Look this version over: Between 1943 and 1955, Tomasevich had two books published on economic matters; one focused on marine resources and the other on the economy of Yugoslavia at the time and both of them received positive reviews.
  • Positively reviewed by scholars such as Phyllis Auty, Alexander Vucinich and John C. Campbell of the Council on Foreign Relations, it was also criticised for bias against Serbs, its length and repetition, by the political scientist Alex N. Dragnich.
  • What was "Positively reviewed"?
  • [but[ it was
  • Drop the comma after repetition
  • Tomasevich died in California in 1994.
Might this sentence be better placed before the sentence begining with 2002?
  • It focused on [the] collaboration and the quisling governments in Yugoslavia during the war , with a strong emphasis on the Axis puppet state , [and] the so-called Independent State of Croatia.
Look this over

Early life

  • Josip "Jozo" Tomašević was born in 1908 in the village of Košarni Do on the Pelješac peninsula in the Kingdom of Dalmatia, part of Austria-Hungary.
"which was" part of
  • Košarni Do is near the village of Donja Banda and is today part of the Orebić municipality within the Dubrovnik-Neretva County of Croatia.
"in 2023 was"
  • He [Nado] returned to the village in 1894, [and he] married the daughter of his first cousin and worked as a farmer.
Look this over
  • In 1938, he was the recipient of a two-year Rockefeller fellowship and moved to the US,[3] "availing himself of the rich resources of Harvard University".[1]
"and" availing himself
  • The other brother living in Košarni Do received the share of the fourth brother , who [,] by then[,] was a merchant mariner living in New Zealand.[4]
Look this over
  • His preference was for a position combining teaching and research, so in 1948, he joined the San Francisco State College (later San Francisco State University).
Drop the comma after 1948
  • He taught there for twenty-five years until he retired in 1973 – except in 1954 when he taught at Columbia University.[1]
Replace the first he with his name
  1. ^ Moments in History 2023.