Wikipediatrix's Axioms:
"With humor, comrade, always with a little humor." - Khigh Dheigh
1. The permanence and lasting value of any contribution to Wikipedia is directly dependent on the amount of time and effort spent not only in creating it, but also protecting, defending it, and maintaining it.
2. Therefore, those who have the most free time are those who will, in the end, make the most permanent and lasting contribution to Wikipedia.
3. Also therefore, one's sense of having "too much free time on their hands" rises exponentially with the number and volume of one's contributions of Wikipedia.
4. A team of thirty people, each signing up for their own Wikipedia accounts and agreeing to support each other's edits, could literally control almost any article on Wikipedia.
5. Axiom 4 is the best indication there is that a cult's agenda is not at work here.
6. An internet troll is defined as an entity that passive-aggressively incites as many internet users to disagree and squabble as possible by putting controversial subjects and statements up for argument and debate, with very little effort on its own part or concern for the bitter disputes it leaves in its path.
7. On any subjects of true importance, far more text, typing, effort, blood, sweat and tears are spent bitterly arguing and endlessly debating on the talk pages of articles rather than contributing to the articles themselves.
8. Therefore, Wikipedia could in itself, by definition, be described as the world's largest internet troll.
9. If the amount of text you have personally entered on any given article's talk page approaches the length of the article itself, you are a victim of Axiom 8.
10. It is human nature to, when encountering an encyclopedia that claims anyone can edit it, to want to rewrite everything from their perspective of the facts.
11. Wikipedia operates by consensus.
12. Therefore, any given article's current state is only a lowest common denominator reflection of the few human beings who have attempted to edit it.
13. Editors who know that you generally support their POV on their pet-project articles are far more likely to overlook your behavior in other matters.
14. The maxim "There is no such thing as bad press, as long as it's press" is fundamentally true.
14. Therefore, if you create dozens of articles about a subject in order to "expose" it and to make sure your negative POV of it is well-cemented, all you have succeeded in doing is increasing that subject's online visibility and popularity exponentially, regardless of the whether the actual data is positive or negative.
15. There is no editor on Wikipedia whose opinion is so important that you should spend more than a short paragraph trying to change or shape their opinion.
16. Paranoia over suspected sockpuppetry is far more destructive to Wikipedia than any actual sockpuppetry.
17. For any action one takes on Wikipedia, there is some sort of Wikipedia guideline, policy or essay one can cite to defend one's actions, and there is also an opposing one that someone else can cite to attack you with.
18. Therefore, this is further proof of the inherent truth of Axiom 8.
19. If you haven't memorized all Wikipedia policy and guidelines by heart, people will think you're a moron.
20. If you have memorized them by heart, people will call you a Wikilawyer.
21. The difference between a "constructive edit" and a "disruptive edit" is based entirely on the POV of whoever happens to be around at the time.
22. Human beings are generally uneducated, superstitious, petty, and solipsistic.
23. Wikipedia is edited by human beings.
24. As proven in phenomena such as Collective hysteria, Moral panic, Mob mentality, Groupthink, Bandwagon effect, Pack journalism, and Herding instinct, large groups of human beings are often less intelligent, sane, and effective as a whole than each of their parts.
25. Wikipedia is edited by large groups of human beings.
26. People who love to argue and who must always be right are generally detested in real-life social settings.
27. These same type of people will always thrive in an online setting.
28. Those who believe in "consensus reality" shouldn't complain about Wikipedia's bias, because consensus reality is precisely what is being shaped here.
29. Anyone who worries about what any web page says (including Wikipedia) is doomed to failure, because:
30. The world wide web as we know it is doomed to failure.
31. Everything stated in these axioms apply to this writer as well.
32. Nietszche said, "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster yourself".
33. I only had thirty-two axioms, but perhaps by having thirty-three, I will create speculation that I have "gone to the dark side" and joined the Freemasons.
love and kisses,
your friend,
Wikipediatrix
p.s. But I still love Wikipedia!
Stop me if you've heard this one before:
A Scientologist and a Wikipedian walk into a bar.
The Scientologist says "Boy, what a day. I thought my wife and I were in ARC but her Affinity and gains are downstat now and she's going PTS and can't cognite the Tech. I reported it to the AO so she can get some Ethics in. She's a real Roller Coaster case, though, with a Rock Slam needle during a Sec Check. Totally 1.1. Hope she doesn't get sent to the RPF."
And the Wikipedian says "I hear you. Today my wife had to report an IP account for WP:CIVIL in an AfD, and I had to notify the WP:BLP noticeboard when a single purpose account improperly tagged a stub. He's a real Meatpuppet, maybe even a Sockpuppet, so I may have to file a Checkuser with an Admin. I have some history on my own block log, though, so this may have to go to RfC first."
And the bartender said to them both incredulously, "you guys have wives?"