His Grace The Duke of Waltham
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Greetings, dear Wikipedian. My name is Harold Cartwright, and I am the Duke of Waltham's private secretary. On behalf of the Duke, I should like to welcome you to His Grace's talk page.
Please note that His Grace follows a policy of keeping conversations unfragmented; in other words, an exchange that begins in one talk page should continue in that same talk page, in order to keep the discussion whole and intelligible. If a conversation has begun in a venue other than this, you need not answer here; you can rest assured that I shall notify the Duke about any new messages (through use of a designated watchlist).
Old discussions are archived with extreme care, even though half of them do not deserve such treatment in the least. But who am I but an underpaid member of the staff, to be judging my boss's gossip. Well, for those interested, the archives are open to the public from 09:00 to 17:00, Mondays to Fridays. Try not to come on Fridays, though, because I close early.
Please don't leave any litter while you are here. There is a dustbin in the corner (where the old Signposts end up, and I couldn't care less about recycling).
By the way, thank you for not smoking.
Enjoy the rest of your day(s), if you must.