Wikipedia:April Fools' Main Page/2007 (1)

George Washington was an early inventor of instant coffee, and worked to ensure a full supply to soldiers fighting at the front. Early on, his campaign was based in Brooklyn, but later he crossed into New Jersey toward a more profitable position. In the countryside, he demonstrated a love of wild creatures, and was often seen with a bird or a monkey on his shoulder. Washington's choice beverage was taken up by the soldiers for its psychoactive properties, even though it tasted terrible. Some thought his brewed powder could even remedy the chemical weapons then in use. But, despite this, Washington failed in his first bid for the Presidency, as papers were filed too late, and the nominator forgot to tell him about it. (more...)

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• ...that Nils Olav is the world's highest ranked penguin (pictured)?
• ...that Richard de Southchurch, Sheriff of Essex, planned to attack London with burning cocks?
• ...that Rush Limbaugh was appointed an ambassador to India?
• ...that the Tempest Prognosticator employs a jury of twelve leeches that use small hammers to ring a bell to indicate the approach of a storm?
• ...that the old surgery technique of grafting monkey testicles onto human males has some modern supporters?

• Surgeons removed two parasitic twins from a two-month-old infant in Pakistan.

• A teaser trailer for The Simpsons movie debuts in theaters, attached to the movie Ice Age: The Meltdown.

• The Economist announced that GeneDupe is working on genetically engineering such mythical creatures as dragons, unicorns, and gryphons.

April 1: Palm Sunday in Christianity (2007); Independence Day in San Serriffe (1967); April Fools' Day; Assyrian New Year.