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Petition against kitten abuse
Any administrator who abuses kittens is a meanie, especially if they do so in the name of Wikipedia. After all, kittens are adorable, and abusing them doesn't benefit Wikipedia. Therefore:
We the undersigned, condemn in the strongest possible terms, any administrator that abuses kittens. (And please note that anyone who doesn't sign this obviously condones kitten abuse.)
Just look at that image!!! Aw... we all know that most of you are causing God to kill kittens... don't contribute to the problem further by abusing them too! Lara03:14, 22 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
There are certainly a few cluless admins who would freely abuse kittens if only you phrased the reason for doing so in just the right way. So yes, duly condemned. Now, if you could get an ambiguous arbcom motion and a Jimbo half-quote to sort of endorse kitten abuse as Doing Good Work despite what the rest of the right thinking kitten loving world thinks....my God, the inhumanity. MickMacNee (talk) 03:54, 22 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Support and demand PTSD therapy. Even though I disapprove of the emotional solicitation of support !votes with the ridiculous and adorably, pathetically cute images, since I am seriously brought to tears like a pathetic child when I see anything close to this saddening, I feel obligated to volunteer my torso be used for future abuse in exchange for a captive kitten if this fails to reach consensus. My hideous fragility means I can't take much punishment, but it should buy the kitties a little more time at least. ♪daTheisen(talk)23:36, 22 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]