Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2023-01-16/Traffic report

In the early hours of the European morning, on 24 February, Russian forces entered Ukraine. Some expected it, others did not, but the reality in Ukraine was now that of war. Millions chose to flee. Others remained, choosing to face the coming onslaught. Many, including Russia's president (#7) and the Russian Army, did not expect the war to last long, with Russian troops on the outskirts of the Ukrainian capital. Ukraine's president (#29) was offered an airlift.

However, to the surprise of most, Ukraine did not fall. Russia's forces achieved some success, but not much, and were for the most part humiliated by a nation less than a third their size. In the end they gave up on taking Kyiv and retreated to focus on the east, leaving behind the vestiges of the haunting crimes they had committed in towns such as Bucha. Thereafter it became a slow, grinding conflict slowly advancing through cities in ruins, as images of the hell on earth in Azovstal filtered around the world. As western aid began to filter through into Ukraine's army, it began to drive back in some areas, and managed to retake large tracts of the Kharkiv and Kherson Oblasts taken at the start of the war. Today the war remains largely static, as the missiles still rain down.

The quarter finals almost featured the greatest comeback, with Netherlands scoring with the final kick of the game to force extra time, only to lose on penalties. Meanwhile, #10 left the pitch in tears after his Portugal were dispensed by shock performer Morocco. The semis featured no shocks, as Argentina beat Croatia (preventing a second consecutive final) and France beat Morocco.

The final was a classic for the ages - although France only bothered turning up with 10 minutes of regular time to go, they managed to force penalties - which they ultimately lost.

And so, Argentina won the tournament, making #11 (in my humble opinion) the undisputed GOAT (although others are welcome to disagree). Interestingly, Argentina's last title was 1986, when a contender for undisputed GOAT played for the team.

And if you didn't have enough of the British Royals as they took over the news in September, The Crown returned in November, with Elizabeth played by Imelda Staunton and remembering how the early 90s was one of the worst periods for the House of Windsor, with divorces, scandals, fires, and the like.

Ronaldo (or more specifically his manager) spent the summer break trying to secure a transfer to a team who would compete in the Champions League, but to no avail. Ronaldo's 2022-23 season (to date) was even worse than the end of the 2021-22 season, scoring just 3 goals in 16 appearances for his club.

But, in mid-November, domestic football took a break for the FIFA World Cup, widely seen as Ronaldo's last chance to make a lasting mark on the stage of international football (he already made a mark on continental football by taking Portugal to the UEFA Euro 2016 title).

Ronaldo and Portugal started their campaign relatively strongly finishing top of their group. Ronaldo scored one goal in the process - becoming the first player to score in five World Cups. Portugal went on to dominate Switzerland in the round of 16, although Ronaldo wouldn't join the fun until the 74th minute. Ronaldo didn't start in the quarter final with Morocco either, joining the match in the 55th minute. However, Portugal lost. Ronaldo left the field in tears, in the knowledge that this would likely be his last World Cup.

But, believe it or not, this wasn't the biggest Ronaldo story of the World Cup. On 14 November, the week before the World Cup, a bombshell interview was published. I won't go into details, but he criticised almost every aspect of his club. United responded by seeking legal action under breach of contract. On 22 November, 2 days before he started his world cup campaign, United and Ronaldo parted ways, under mutual agreement. Despite Ronaldo stating that he wanted to "to retire with dignity - Not In USA, Qatar Or Dubai", Ronaldo is going to play for Al Nassr, in Saudi Arabia. So much for retiring with dignity.

Before this year, the most you might have heard about these two was that they were married, broke Australian biosecurity laws and gave a lifeless apology, and then got a divorce. And then all of a sudden, they were everywhere. Based on the publicity these two got this year for the lawsuit you have no doubt heard (!) about, the unacquainted observer might assume that Depp sued Heard for abuse or battery or at the very least a little robbery. But nope, all of the hubbub for Heard was actually thanks to a mere defamation suit that Depp filed against his ex-wife after she mentioned being the victim of domestic abuse in a 2018 Washington Post op-ed that, and I feel the need to emphasize this, never mentioned him by name. The suit might have been a long time coming, though, since their contentious dropped divorce suit in 2016 involved Heard referencing his abuse, and he lost a case in the UK against The Sun after a judge ruled that 12 out of the 14 instances of his abuse alleged by Heard were true. Third time's a charm, I guess!

There's plenty out there to suggest that the case was skewed in his favor, including unearthed documents (that were unearthed by none other than his own fans) that reveal just how much was kept from being used against him in the trial. But the most striking part of all of this has less to do with the case itself, which arguably should have never been televised at Depp's request to begin with, and more to do with the public's reaction: the cultish support of Depp measured against the vicious, unrelenting vitriol toward Heard. No matter where you fall on this case, there is no denying that there was a hate campaign against Amber Heard, and it worked like a charm.

Dozens of videos made by quack "body language analysts" alleging that, because Amber's thumb twitched seven minutes into her testimony, she must be lying. Droves of fans parked outside of the courthouse waiting with signs to support Depp while booing and cursing at Heard. Memes aplenty about stepped-on bees and shat-in beds that didn't ever really prove much other than that the general public considers not being likable as a woman in Hollywood a criminal offense. Entire studies done to analyze the behaviors of Twitter accounts dedicated entirely to turning the algorithm against Heard. Derisive parodies of Heard's behavior in the courtroom coupled with the first Google result after their two names together being "funny moments". Experts worrying that this case alone could open up whole new avenues for abusers to trap their victims. If you have ever wondered why the #MeToo movement took so long to happen, look no further! How charming.

150 years ago, the first international association football game was played, between England and Scotland aren't they the same country? ... not for sports ... what about the Olympics? ... except that

Okay, one last try 150 years ago, the first international association football game was played, between England and Scotland, the only national teams at the time (the two had played a few earlier matches that aren't counted). In the decades since, association football has become a truly global enterprise and the best national teams from each continent come together every four years to discover which number 9 or 10 has the better countrymen. And, yes, that includes the United States.

This year (#3), the men have been displaced 5 months because FIFA elected to host it in a desert for some reason. Next year, the women will have their turn.

The former kickboxer started his Hustler's University program (real classy name) last year, which promised to teach men and boys as young as 13 how to take advantage of ever-reliable ventures like cryptocurrency and dropshipping. This was, of course, in exchange for their flooding TikTok with clips of him on manosphere podcasts, where he, among other things, encouraged violence against women, called women men's property, and said women can't drive. Despite him earning an ever bigger following of impressionable young men due to social media algorithms heavily promoting these clips, his content promptly got banned from nearly every notable social media platform in the middle of this year. Not long after, #6 on this list reinstated his Twitter account, which led to him briefly beefing with and then getting absolutely roasted by climate activist Greta Thunberg at the end of this year, then getting arrested in Romania on charges of human trafficking, rape, and organized crime. So, yes, karma is a bitch. And bitches get stuff done.

If only all US military propaganda was this good.

The Russian-born Sorokin moved to NYC at age 19 and soon took on the last name Delvey, which she at first attributed to her parents but later admitted she just came up with. She spent years going to high-profile events and clubs, making rich friends, and convincing everyone around her that she was loaded by charging money to invalid credit cards and printing fake financial documents. It all caught up with her in 2019 and landed her in prison for quite some time.

With an intricate narrative, brilliant cinematography, a fantastic score, and excellent supporting performances by Zoë Kravitz, Jeffrey Wright, and Colin Farrell, The Batman received rave reviews—in my opinion, it stands alongside The Dark Knight as one of the World's Greatest Detective's finest outings—and grossed over $770 million worldwide. A sequel and a spin-off television series starring Farrell's Penguin are already in development.

Superhero movie fatigue has started to settle in for me, and I felt like Thor: Mid and Midder Love and Thunder was a representation of everything I've grown to dislike about the MCU: squandering good ideas and talented actors, an overemphasis on quips and jokes at the expense of tonal consistency and meaningful storytelling, and products existing for the sole purpose of setting something else up. And it's a shame, because I like Taika Waititi and had enjoyed Thor: Ragnarok quite a bit. Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Christian Bale, and the rest of their castmates certainly deserved a better film than this.

Of course, audiences still ate Mid and Midder Love and Thunder up, with its total box office standing at $750 million as of this writing. So maybe I'm just overly cynical.

Heche had her fair share of high-profile, low-profile, and medium-profile film roles, like in a movie about the guy at the top of this list or in a movie starring alongside #14 on this list, but her career was equally defined by her high-profile relationship with Ellen DeGeneres and a string of not-so-becoming moments in the 2000s. One might classify these moments, like going to a random lady's house to use her shower and claiming to be Jesus's sister, as "psycho" if they wanted to make an inappropriate pun referencing one of her most famous movie roles, which becomes even harder not to do with the whole shower thing.

In August of this year, Heche got into three car accidents, one of which involved her crashing her car into a house, setting fire to both the car and the house and leaving her in critical condition. Like DMX last year, much of the prolonged publicity surrounding Heche's death was thanks to the prolonged wait to find out what the haps was with her. Reports swirled around her status, some saying she would make it and some saying she wouldn't, before she was taken off of life support about a week after the crash.

Unfortunately for you all, however, I didn't watch Euphoria and have absolutely no intention to do so because I would rather do anything else than watch a bunch of unlikeable teenagers do drugs and get abused and engage in all sorts of depraved nonsense. Rather, I was too busy racing to finish Breaking Bad in time to catch up for Better Call Saul, a much better series whose final season aired this year. I got to watch Jimmy McGill (Bob Odenkirk) complete his transformation into Saul Goodman, the sleazeball lawyer who represents everyone's favorite methamphetamine cooks Walter White (Bryan Cranston) and Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) for much of Breaking Bad. And it was very good and I recommend you watch both series. And El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, because that is also very good.

Did I claim the Euphoria spot just so I could talk about Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul because I'm bitter Euphoria made this list and Better Call Saul didn't? Yes, yes I did.