Wikipedia:Yes legal threats

This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline. Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community.

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This page in a nutshell: If for some reason your totalitarian grip over a Wikipedia discussion starts to slip, regain it by using legal threats.

Sometimes, you may have some editor who just goes up to your brand new article's talk page and says, "this article you created on the social media influencer foo may not meet Wikipedia's notability guidelines". You try to defend its inclusion to your heart's desire, but the barrage keeps on coming. You complain to an admin that this person is canvassing too much and ruining your hard work, but the admin rules that the article should be deleted. You even climb the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man to illustrate how much control one user has over the article, but when you learn the cunning and mighty Wikimedia Foundation has banned that too after you sent an ALL CAPS SCREAMING EMAIL, and that the Berlin police are on their way to throw you in jail...

What do you do now? Your routes are all but exhausted! You still have one remedy left: Using legal threats.

In the United States, legal threats are as American as McDonalds, Walmart, the Gap, Apple pie, Baseball, the NFL, Rock and Roll, the Internet, and Bed Bath and BeyondBankrupt.^[a] Legal threats on their own aren't even criminal, especially in Texas.^[1] So why not? Go ahead and sue that wicked, cunning, and communist editor and their mother. They deserve it. They prevented you from erecting a giant digital statue of yourself on "the free encyclopedia".

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