Dear husband

"Dear Husband" redirects here. For the Joyce Carol Oates work, see Dear Husband (short story collection).

In Internet slang, DH is an abbreviation for dear husband; it is commonly used by women on certain forums to refer to their husbands. Similarly, DD means dear daughter and DS means dear son. The Oxford Dictionary of English dates the origin of DH to the 1990s.[1] It was a part of Internet culture as far back as America Online[2][3] and remains part of a common "lingua franca across a broad array of parenting boards."[4]

Online communities often develop what lexicographers call a language for special purposes. A study of the language for special purposes used on breast-cancer and infertility forums found that the corpus of both communities was defined by brevity, humor and intra-group unity, in part expressed by replacing terms that would be used in conventional/professional communication settings, such as male partner or luteal phase, with vocabulary particular to the layperson-to-layperson community, such as DH and 2WW [two-week wait].[5]

Hof (2006) writes that DH is not merely shorthand meant to save time, but a "cheeky reference".[6] Drentea & Moren-Cross (2005) write that using DH and DD help stressed-out women maintain their "good mother" social role by softening complaints about their families. The usage of "dear" can also be sarcastic.[7] Owens (2007) writes that DH "suggests a certain distancing".[8]

A statistical analysis of approximately 50 million posts on a parenting forum found that "Almost five percent of posts are about dh, or dear husband, but these posts tend to express more negative emotion than other posts." The researcher theorized that the relative anonymity of the forum and the ability to dissociate and compartmentalize online contribute to this effect, asserting "This culture of disinhibition and conventional signaling creates a safe space online for moms to explore their own roles and identity and a variety of other topics." The study also found that "there were only 48 references to dear husband across all of YBM posts compared to over 270,000 references to dh..." suggesting that the use of DH plays a role in in-group signaling and community cohesion.[4]

DH and related terms are prevalent in a number of Internet subcultures that center female sexuality such as infertility/trying to conceive support groups,[9] egg donation forums,[10] ectopic pregnancy communities,[11] breastfeeding-support communities,[12] and on parenting forums where division of labor between parents of different genders has become an issue, especially after the arrival of a newborn[13] or in times of broader crisis, such as during a global pandemic.[14] DH appears in conversations about family, sexuality and relationships within Muslim,[15] LDS,[16] and Jewish[17] online communities. On one breast cancer forum, where the majority of users are women aged 40 to 60, a statistical analysis of posts shows that typing out "husband" is associated with short-time members, while "my DD" (rather than "daughter") is associated with long-time members.[18]

  1. ^ Oxford dictionary of English. Angus Stevenson (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press. 2010. ISBN 978-0-19-172766-5. OCLC 700212397.{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: others (link)
  2. ^ Hof 2006, p. 369.
  3. ^ Balmain, Melissa (15 November 1995). "Cybermom Reaches Out while Online". Orange County Register. ProQuest 272845385.
  4. ^ a b Schoenebeck, Sarita Yardi (2013). The Secret Life of Online Moms: Anonymity and Disinhibition on YouBeMom.com. Proceedings of the Seventh International AAAI Conference on Weblogs and Social Media (Report). Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence. Retrieved 19 January 2023.
  5. ^ Bowker, Lynne; Herrera, Carolina (24 October 2005). "A new Internet-based Communicative Setting: Exploring its Impact on Language for Special Purposes". Lexicographica. 20 (2004): 33–55. doi:10.1515/9783484604674.33. ISSN 1865-9403. S2CID 59736948. Retrieved 19 January 2023.
  6. ^ Hof 2006, p. 368.
  7. ^ Drentea & Moren-Cross 2005, p. 929.
  8. ^ Owens 2007, p. 183.
  9. ^ Miller, Cheryl (2008). "Blogging Infertility". The New Atlantis (19). Center for the Study of Technology and Society: 79–90. ISSN 1543-1215. JSTOR 43152391. Retrieved 19 January 2023 – via JSTOR.
  10. ^ Curtis, Anna (2010). "Giving 'Til It Hurts: Egg Donation and the Costs of Altruism". Feminist Formations. 22 (2). Johns Hopkins University Press: 80–100. ISSN 2151-7363. JSTOR 40835372. Retrieved 19 January 2023 – via JSTOR.
  11. ^ Perry, Shayna M. (2019). A Content Analysis of Online Social Support Behaviors Given among Individuals Coping with Ectopic Pregnancy (Thesis). California Lutheran University. ProQuest 2281865516 – via ProQuest.
  12. ^ Furkin, Jennifer D. (2018). Mom to Mom: Online Breastfeeding Advice (Thesis). University of Kentucky Libraries. doi:10.13023/etd.2018.066.
  13. ^ Brady, Ellen; Guerin, Suzanne (2010). ""Not the Romantic, All Happy, Coochy Coo Experience": A Qualitative Analysis of Interactions on an Irish Parenting Web Site". Family Relations. 59 (1). National Council on Family Relations: 14–27. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2009.00582.x. ISSN 0197-6664. JSTOR 40663908. Retrieved 19 January 2023 – via JSTOR.
  14. ^ Pedersen, Sarah; Burnett, Simon (May 2022). "Saying the unsayable: The online expression of mothers' anger during a pandemic". Feminism & Psychology. 32 (2): 246–264. doi:10.1177/09593535221074131. ISSN 0959-3535. S2CID 246397449 – via SAGE Journals.
  15. ^ Piela, Anna (October 2011). "Piety as a concept underpinning Muslim women's online discussions of marriage and professional career". Contemporary Islam. 5 (3): 249–265. doi:10.1007/s11562-011-0162-y. ISSN 1872-0218. S2CID 143631744. Retrieved 16 January 2023.
  16. ^ Pavia, Catherine M. (2009). Literacy and Religious Agency: An Ethnographic Study of an Online LDS Women's Group (Thesis). University of Massachusetts. ProQuest 304927117 – via ProQuest.
  17. ^ avishai, orit; burke, kelsy (2016). "God's Case for Sex". Contexts. 15 (4). SAGE Publications: 30–35. doi:10.1177/1536504216684819. ISSN 1536-5042. JSTOR 26370440. S2CID 151951757. Retrieved 19 January 2023 – via JSTOR.
  18. ^ Nguyen & Rosé 2011, pp. 78, 83.