Limerence

Not to be confused with Liminality.
Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss, by Antonio Canova, first version 1787–1793

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Limerence is a state of mind resulting from romantic feelings for another person. It typically involves intrusive and melancholic thoughts, or tragic concerns for the object of one's affection, along with a desire for the reciprocation of one's feelings and to form a relationship with the object of love.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" as an alteration of "amorance" without other etymologies[1] to describe a concept that had grown out of her work in the 1960s, when she interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love.[2][3][4] In her book Love and Limerence, she writes that "to be in a state of limerence is to feel what is usually termed 'being in love.'"[5] She coined the term to disambiguate the state from other less-overwhelming emotions, and to avoid the implication that those who do not experience it are not capable of experiencing love.[6][7]

According to Tennov and others, limerence can be considered romantic love,[1][8][9][10][11] passionate love,[3][11][12] infatuation,[13][14][15] lovesickness[14][4][16][17] or even love madness.[18][19][14][20] It's also sometimes compared to a crush, but contrasted as being much more intense.[21][22]

Love and Limerence has been called the seminal work on romantic love.[11] Anthropologist and author Helen Fisher wrote that data collection on romantic attraction started with Tennov collecting survey results, diaries, and other personal accounts.[23] Fisher, who knew Tennov and corresponded with her, has commented that Tennov's concept had a sad component to it.[24][25]

Limerence is associated with dopamine reward circuits in the brain.[10][14][21] The early stage of romantic love has been called an altered mental state[26] and compared to a behavioral addiction[27][28] or an addiction to a person.[29] Brain scans suggest that people experience motivational salience in response to a loved one.[10][27] A long-running theory also compared the associated intrusive thinking to obsessive-compulsive disorder[30] with a hypothesis that this is related to lowered serotonin levels in the brain,[25] but the experimental evidence for that is ambiguous.[11]

  1. ^ a b "Will limerence take the place of love?". The Observer. 11 September 1977. One of the most illuminating sessions was when Dorothy Tennov [...] described her attempts to find a suitable term for 'romantic love.' [...] 'I first used the term "amorance" then changed it back to "limerence,"' she told her audience. 'It has no roots whatsoever. It looks nice. It works well in French. Take it from me it has no etymology whatsoever.'
  2. ^ Tennov, Dorothy (1999). Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. Scarborough House. ISBN 978-0-8128-6286-7. Archived from the original on 27 March 2023. Retrieved 12 March 2011.
  3. ^ a b Hatfield, Elaine (1988). "Passionate and Companionate Love". The Psychology of Love. Yale University Press. pp. 191–217. ISBN 9780300045895. Archived from the original on 2024-05-25. Retrieved 2024-05-16.
  4. ^ a b Cite error: The named reference wapo1990 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  5. ^ Tennov 1999, p. 16
  6. ^ "That crazy little thing called love". The Guardian. 14 December 2003. Archived from the original on 25 May 2024. Retrieved 15 April 2009.
  7. ^ Tennov 1999, p. 15
  8. ^ Tennov 1999, p. 172
  9. ^ Cite error: The named reference usatoday was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  10. ^ a b c Fisher, Helen; Aron, Arthur; Mashek, Debra; Li, Haifang; Brown, Lucy (October 2002). "Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment". Archives of Sexual Behavior. 31 (5): 413–419. doi:10.1023/A:1019888024255. PMID 12238608. Archived from the original on 18 February 2024. Retrieved 18 February 2024.
  11. ^ a b c d Bode, Adam; Kushnick, Geoff (11 April 2021). "Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love". Frontiers in Psychology. 12. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123. PMC 8074860. PMID 33912094.
  12. ^ Cite error: The named reference :02 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  13. ^ Tennov 1999, p. 85
  14. ^ a b c d Frankel, Valerie (2002). "The Love Drug" (web). Oprah. Archived from the original on 20 March 2024. Retrieved 19 March 2024.
  15. ^ Cite error: The named reference diamond2003 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  16. ^ Tennov 1999, pp. 7, 102, 179, 243
  17. ^ Cite error: The named reference ethnopharma was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  18. ^ Tennov 1999, pp. 90, 122, 156, 173
  19. ^ Tennov 1998, p. 77
  20. ^ Domingo, Katrina (23 June 2021). "Fairytale or pilit-tale? Experts spill why men rush into marriage after long-term relationships". ABS-CBN. Archived from the original on 24 September 2024. Retrieved 23 September 2024.
  21. ^ a b McCracken, Amanda (27 January 2024). "Is It a Crush or Have You Fallen Into Limerence?" (web). The New York Times. Archived from the original on 30 January 2024. Retrieved 30 January 2024.
  22. ^ Cite error: The named reference :16 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  23. ^ Fisher, Helen (2016). Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray (Completely Revised and Updated). W. W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0-393-34974-0. Archived from the original on 18 February 2024. Retrieved 18 February 2024.
  24. ^ Holmes, Kimberly (2024). ""Madly In Love" Researcher Talks Love, Limerence, and Mating For Life with Dr. Helen Fisher". It Starts With Attraction (Podcast). Retrieved 27 May 2024.
  25. ^ a b Fisher, Helen (March 1998). "Lust, attraction, and attachment in mammalian reproduction". Human Nature. 9 (1): 23–52. doi:10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5. PMID 26197356. Archived from the original on 18 February 2024. Retrieved 18 February 2024.
  26. ^ Marazziti, Donatella; Canale, Domenico (2004). "Hormonal changes when falling in love". Psychoneuroendocrinology. 29 (7): 931–936. doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2003.08.006. PMID 15177709.
  27. ^ a b Fisher, Helen; Xu, Xiaomeng; Aron, Arthur; Brown, Lucy (9 May 2016). "Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other". Frontiers in Psychology. 7: 687. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687. PMC 4861725. PMID 27242601.
  28. ^ Zou, Zhiling; Song, Hongwen; Zhang, Yuting; Zhang, Xiaochu (21 September 2016). "Romantic Love vs. Drug Addiction May Inspire a New Treatment for Addiction". Frontiers in Psychology. 7: 1436. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01436. PMC 5031705. PMID 27713720.
  29. ^ Tallis 2004, pp. 218, 235
  30. ^ Leckman, James; Mayes, Linda (July 1999). "Preoccupations and Behaviors Associated with Romantic and Parental Love: Perspectives on the Origin of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder". Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 8 (3): 635–665. doi:10.1016/S1056-4993(18)30172-X. PMID 10442234.