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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
A bunch of copy improvements, especially when it comes to commas. There are a few places where I question whether the inclusion of some details is salient or just cruft. It's been a while, so fresh eyes might see more things to do. Ping me when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:05, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.
Zwolle were appearing in their fourth KNVB Cup final, and were the defending champions This comma is not needed. WP:CINS
Removed
Around ten minutes later Rusnák netted his second to double Groningen's lead. I'd add a comma after "later", but I see you have a lot of these types of constructions, so this is optional.
Done
The length of the infobox is causing the sidebar table in the PEC Zwolle to align left of the infobox, creating a big void. I tried to ameliorate the problem by adding two lines of text to the lead, but that is not quite enough on Vector 2022.
In the last minutes of the match, VVV equalised but the goal was disallowed after Warner Hahn, PEC's goalkeeper, was fouled. Comma needed after "equalised" (CINS)
Done
Zwolle's Ron Jans coached his tenth cup match whilst at PEC, winning all of them. This sentence feels out of order the way it is structured. Perhaps The win marked coach Ron Jans's tenth win in ten cup matches whilst at PEC."
Done
De Leeuw scored a hat-trick in five minutes and Groningen recorded their tied-biggest away win in the club's history. Comma after "minutes" (CINS)
Done
The visitors dominated during the first hour but it remained goalless. Comma after "hour" (CINS)
Done
Kashia was sent off and Groningen were awarded a penalty kick. Comma after "off" (CINS)
Done
Groningen were without key players De Leeuw, who was ill, and without Eric Botteghin, who was suspended. The second "without" is unnecessary and should be removed.
Done
Excelsior were the better side during the opening stages of the game but it remained goalless. Comma after "game" (CINS)
Broerse started his career at Groningen but played since 2012 for PEC. Another Zwolle player who started his career at Groningen was Stef Nijland. His father, Hans, was Groningen's chief executive officer since the 1990s. Jans played for Groningen and later coached the club from 2002 to 2010. Are these factoids necessary?
I remember some media outlets also dubbed it the "Nijland final", and that there were some familiar connections between both clubs, so I'd like to keep this info.
The buses carrying Groningen fans drove on the A7 motorway and the Afsluitdijk to Rotterdam. The Zwolle buses drove on the A50 and the A12 motorways to De Kuip. Some supporters went by car or bicycle. This is unnecessary detail.
However, I agree about this being overkill. Removed it.
Van der Heide described PEC's style as "clean positional play", and stated that Van de Looi mainly formed his plans based on the quality of his players. Remove comma (CINS)
Done
Groningen scored the most goals of all teams during the cup season, netting 22 goals. De Leeuw scored 7 and was one goal behind Arkadiusz Milik of Ajax, the season's top goal scorer in the cup. This might go better with the "route to the final" section — here it seems quite out of place.
I think the sentence fits quite well tbh (at least in this section).
Around the 30th minute Chery dribbled through the Zwolle defence but he could not find a shot. Either add a comma after "defence" or drop the "he" (CINS)
Dropped it
Five minutes later Drost went down in Groningen's penalty area but the referee waved away any penalty claims. Comma after "area"
Done
Shortly afterwards Antonia put in another dangerous cross but Sainsbury cleared the ball. Comma after "cross"
Done
In stoppage time Antonia reached Juninho Bacuna but he misjudged the ball Comma after "Bacuna"
The two brothers of Groningen player and cup winner Juninho Bacuna, Leandro and Johnsen, also played a cup final with their clubs later in the month. Is this entire paragraph a salient, encyclopedic fact?
I handled the Nijland stuff by making a better introduction to indicate that there were players with ties to both organizations. Will pass. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 20:15, 2 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.