Talk:American Samoa at the 2020 Summer Olympics

This review is transcluded from Talk:American Samoa at the 2020 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Arconning (talk · contribs) 04:11, 25 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 18:28, 11 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Claiming per GANC. Comments to come. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 18:28, 11 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PCN02WPS Been more than seven days, pinging for some comments^^ :) Arconning (talk) 07:12, 19 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Arconning As with the '36 Liechtenstein review, sorry to have taken so long with this. I have had very little free time the last week or so, though that doesn't excuse this taking so long. I will have comments up tonight, thanks again for your patience! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 01:13, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PCN02WPS Thank you! :) Arconning (talk) 03:06, 23 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PCN02WPS I'll probably get to your comments in a few days (3 to 4 days), though I assure you they will be addressed. :) Arconning (talk) 10:18, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Arconning I’m in no position to rush anybody given how long it took me to get to this in the first place! Take your time. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 13:26, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PCN02WPS I believe everything's great now! Arconning (talk) 03:08, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

• I'm not sure that it's accurate to say that "most of the athletes...were invited through universality slots" when 3 of their 6 weren't
  •  Done

Background

• The colon in the first sentence seems very out of place, and "namely" is unnecessary too
  •  Done
• Why is the Honolulu connecting flight relevant?
  •  Done. Renamed to "Delegation and travel" considering other Olympic-related articles, travel section would be too small if put here so I decided to merge them.
• "Hoesch and Paige were the last American Samoan athletes to compete at the Games" -- as with the Liechtenstein article, this seems like a detail irrelevant to the athletes themselves as it likely just reflects that their events were scheduled last
  •  Done
• Pipe the link for "Parade of Nations" since the "2020 Summer Olympics" portion of it goes without saying
  •  Done
• The first (and only) sentence of the first paragraph of "Opening and closing ceremonies" is very long and should be split into 2 or 3 sentences
  •  Done. Made into two sentences.
• "the parade of nations" → if this is capitalized in the first paragraph it should be capitalized here
  •  Done

Competitors

• "The following is the list of number of competitors in the Games" → is this section/table necessary? All athletes are already listed, with their sports, in the "Delegation" section
  •  Done. Removed.

Athletics

• I (and, I suspect, other readers) don't know what a "universality slot" is - would you be able to explain it briefly here without taking away from the American Samoa-specific focus of the article?
  •  Done
• Second sentence is very long
  •  Done
• "Crumpton had never competed in the 100 metres or any sprinting event" → "any sprinting event" covers the 100m, so you can remove "the 100 meters or"
  •  Done
• The last part of the last sentence in that para, starting "...with the only..." is a little awkwardly-worded tense-wise
  •  Done, replaced with "as his only"

Sailing

• "The pair" → this kind of comes out of nowhere, as it's not immediately obvious that we've moved focus from the boats to the sailors
  •  Done, replace with "Hoesch and Paige".

Swimming

• "The swimmers were the first American Samoan athletes to compete at these Games" → as above, this detail is not relevant to them specifically
  •  Done, removed.
• "against swimmers" → don't need to clarify that she was competing against swimmers in a swimming competition
•  Done
• Is it unusual for a men's heat to have three competitors but a women's heat to have eight?
  • It depends, actually. A heat can have up to ten competitors as there are ten lanes. Each person was probably put into those heats based on their rank.

Weightlifting

• "who would compete" → "who competed"
•  Done.
• "Jungblut is a returning Olympian" → change to past tense
•  Done.

That's all I've got on a first read-through, no rush in getting to these! PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:04, 24 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The only outstanding thing I can see is the sentence "After the last competitors for the nation participated...", which still reads oddly to me. Maybe begin the sentence saying no American Samoan athlete earned a medal at these games, and then mention that no competitor did so in a prior games, either. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 19:00, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PCN02WPS I believe it's fixed now. Arconning (talk) 15:32, 2 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Still not 100% grammatical; the word "has" in "No American Samoan athlete has earned a medal at these Games" is unneeded because the Games are not still going on, and the part of the sentence after the semicolon is redundant because it means the same thing in this context as "nor has any American Samoan athlete prior", so it can just be removed. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 18:23, 2 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@PCN02WPS Done! Arconning (talk) 09:10, 3 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]