This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to join the project and contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Christianity, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Christianity on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.ChristianityWikipedia:WikiProject ChristianityTemplate:WikiProject ChristianityChristianity articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Pennsylvania, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Pennsylvania on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.PennsylvaniaWikipedia:WikiProject PennsylvaniaTemplate:WikiProject PennsylvaniaPennsylvania articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Philadelphia, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Philadelphia on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.PhiladelphiaWikipedia:WikiProject PhiladelphiaTemplate:WikiProject PhiladelphiaPhiladelphia articles
I'm very, very nearly happy to pass this as a good article. There are a few comments I would make about things that could be tightened up.
"Serving as a priest in Rome, Ireland, and Pennsylvania, he became known as a gifted preacher." This might be pedantry, but I can't see why the first clause is subordinated to the second. I would write this more plainly as "He served as a priest in Rome, Ireland, and Pennsylvania and became known as a gifted preacher."
"Early biographers believed Egan was possibly born in Galway" I can't check the source here. Did the early biographers think there was uncertainty about where he was born? That's the implication of "possibly". If that is what is meant, it could usefully be clearer. Otherwise, lose "possibly".
"the problem of orphaned children having been made worse by the yellow fever deaths" This dangling modifier isn't terribly elegant. I'd suggest "as the problem of orphaned children had been made worse by the yellow fever deaths".
"Bishops-elect Benedict Joseph Flaget and Jean-Louis de Cheverus". Can I suggest "Benedict Joseph Flaget and Jean-Louis de Cheverus, who had been appointed/elected to bishoprics but had not yet been consecrated"? I've no problem with the former, but my suggestion is a bit more explicit for the non-expert.
"the trustees there were perturbed at Egan's appointment of an Irish priest to lead the parish temporarily, until a German priest could be found" This reads better without "temporarily,", as it suggests that the trustees were perturbed temporarily, rather than the leading being temporary.