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The famous refrain (in Picard): | might be translated into French as: |
Dors, min p'tit quinquin, Min p'tit pouchin, min gros rojin |
Dors, mon petit enfant, Mon petit poussin, mon gros raisin, |
And into English literally as: | |
"Sleep, my little child, "My little chick, my plump grape, |
Can anyone rewrite the English to make an idiomatic lullaby chorus (which can be put in the bottom right section of the table)? In the original Picard language version, all of lines rhyme. I think it would be a nice addition to the article, because the literal translation doesn't exactly run smoothly. Cheers, fabiform | talk 21:17, 19 Feb 2004 (UTC)
Does it mangle it too much to say the below?
"Sleep, my child so dear,
my baby chick, my treasured one,
I will be filled with fear,
unless you sleep 'til rise of sun."
Maybe it's a starting point. Jwrosenzweig 21:26, 19 Feb 2004 (UTC)
At the same time, MykReeve and I came up with another aabb pattern: little one/plum/woe/tomorrow.
By the way, I wasn't very clear before. All four lines in the original end in the same sound, so the rhyming pattern they used was actually aaaa! fabiform | talk 22:25, 19 Feb 2004 (UTC)
Two tries, neither perfect but may inspire better:
Sleep my little one, my sweet
My darling one, my joy, my treat
For you will cause me grief complete
If you don't sleep 'till dawn we greet
Or in couplets as I prefer (but it doesn't meet the request) the last lines could be:
For you will cause me grief and sorrow
If you don't sleep until tomorrow
Feel free to play with these. Andrewa 23:13, 19 Feb 2004 (UTC)
I say don't worry too much about rhyme scheme, but avoid the doggerel rhythm of that last attempt. -- Jmabel 23:20, 19 Feb 2004 (UTC)
Elf 04:24, 22 Feb 2004 (UTC)
I was trying to play with close rhymes and following the pattern of the original... but I haven't been able to get beyond the first two lines.
Sleep, my own tiny babe,
My tiny chick, my luscious grape...
Elf 23:05, 20 Feb 2004 (UTC)
Slumber, infant mine,
Little one, apple of my eye,
It sore troubles me,
If you shan't sleep to morrow come.
-- Cimon Avaro on a pogostick 23:21, Feb 20, 2004 (UTC)
Hm. It was a bit stilted anyway, I've tried to fix it above.
I looked at the Picard again, and I realised that there was more rhyming/assonance than I had said. Here's how I think the verse is pronounced:
(an is nasalized)
dor, man ptee kankan
man ptee pookan, man gro' ro'jan
tuh mfrah doo shah-gran
see tuh ndor pwan sh-kah duhman
Eek!
Well, here's my first go using an aaaa pattern, and a vague internal one/sun assonance:
Off to sleep, my wren
My little one, my plump peahen
I will cry, you ken
If you rise before the sun again
"Ken" kind of stands out like a sore thumb though. :) fabiform | talk 13:49, 22 Feb 2004 (UTC)
You can hear the chorus being sung in French (which sounds similar to Picard), here: