User:Cessaune

she glances at me

"do you have a pencil?"

she asked me that question

your brain is the most magical thing

it can take a single mental snapshot of a moment

and cherish it forever

the image fades so quickly

but the memory will always be there

the shirt she wears

the way her hair clip lacks reflection

the way her eyes squint in the sunlight

the way she licks her lips

the way she talks so quickly

the way she types even quicker

and she doesn't understand it

because to her, she's just a student

asking another student for a pencil

but to me

she's a flower

she's a rainbow

she's something to be cherished

heralded

loved

i once heard her talking about a picture she had taken

she's always taking photos of herself and sending them to him

yet she's never happy with them

she's like a sunset

the most beautiful thing in the world

and you take a picture on a smartphone

thinking that you'll send it to someone, maybe

but it doesn't fully capture the subtlety of the red

the vibrance of the pink

the brashness of the orange

the calmness of the blue

you know?

she's like that sunset

she's willing to define her whole essence around that picture

when in reality

she's only seen herself in photos

in a mirror

in her dreams

so she could never understand how beautiful she is in person

she doesn't notice me

she sees me, of course

which makes it that much worse

do you know what it feels like to be seen but not noticed?

she asks me for a pencil because I'm conveniently near

and when she does decide to talk to me

she'd rather talk about him

she's always talking about him

all these great things about him

like, doesn't she realize?

if only she could see him from my point of view

how he is always reminding her to wear more makeup

how he whines about his looks and expects her to do the same to make him feel better

how he raises his voice at her in public

how he talks about her so candidly and openly, as if she's not there

how the silent treatment is his only form of conflict resolution

how he looks at other girls

how he is always commenting negatively on her weight for everyone to hear

how he thinks that a kiss can make up for everything he says and does

and i want to tell her, stop hearing

stop listening

stop accepting this, because he's not treating you right, i want to say

but she can't hear me

i don't understand why she can't see that he doesn't care about her

she doesn't understand that the days she tries the least

are the days she looks the best

because the days she tries the least

are the days he yells the most

and what really makes me mad

is that the days she tries her hardest

are the days she cries the most

and i would never do that to her

i would never make her cry

because i love her

so, so much

but that doesn't even matter

i mean nothing matters

it never mattered

she doesn't notice me

and i pretend not to notice her

and of course today is the day i forget to pack a pencil

not even one for myself

but she smiled at me anyways

so i think i'll be okay.

the pencil, flash fiction/free verse, 593 words

randomize