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I'm writing down some thoughts provoked by a recent (possibly ongoing) Wikipedia dispute, that spans many articles and includes many editors. My reason for talking about it as a single dispute should become clear as we go along.
Wikipedia attracts many kinds of contributors, of all ages, cultures, beliefs, assumptions, writing styles, and personalities. Different people handle conflict in different ways. Many people are not very accustomed to handling conflict with people who are very different from themselves.
There is a recurring scenario, I believe, that is played out on this website many times each year. It is likely that there are, at any given time, at least two or three of these fires burning, with some degree of heat. The scenario begins with one editor.