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According to WP:CIVIL, civility is "one of Wikipedia's core principles". It is an official policy, it is one of the five pillars, and for the most part it is uncontroversial; civil behaviour tends to promote productive collaboration, and uncivil behaviour can make even uninvolved users feel intimidated or unwelcome, hurting the project in the long run.
This essay is not an attempt to wave the rule stick or threaten users into "civility... or else!", but it is an attempt to set out the civility standards that I impose upon myself. Of course, like everyone, I have occasionally said or done something unkind that I later regret, but by asking myself the following question, I have on multiple occasions stopped myself from making a fool of myself, or from saying something that I would later regret:
If this doesn't work for you, or if your granny is Meredith Brooks, then consider the following alternative questions:
Now, if you think that granny would shake her head and smile sadly at what you've said, then maybe what you're writing is incivil, and perhaps you should think hard before you press that "Save Page" button.