User:Turgidson

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From Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb:

Muffley: Then do you mean to tell me, General Turgidson, that you will be unable to recall the aircraft?

Turgidson: That's about the size of it. However, we are plowing through every possible three letter combination of the code. But since there are seventeen thousand permutations it's going to take us about two and a half days to transmit them all.

Muffley: There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic.

Turgidson: Well, I'd like to hold off judgment on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in.

Muffley: [anger rising] General Turgidson, when you instituted the human reliability tests, you assured me there was no possibility of such a thing ever occurring.

Turgidson: Well I don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip up, sir.

Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth, both for ourselves as human beings, and for the life of our nation. Now, the truth is not always a pleasant thing, but it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless, distinguishable post-war environments: one where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got a hundred and fifty million people killed.

Muffley: You're talking about mass murder, General, not war.

Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say... no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh... depended on the breaks.

de Sadesky: What did you say?

Turgidson: I said, Premier Kissov is a degenerate atheist commie! That's what I said.

de Sadesky: Mr. President, I formally request that you have this ignorant fool removed from the war room.

Muffley: [to Turgidson, and de Sadesky who is on Turgidson's lap] Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!

Russian Ambassador: The Doomsday Machine is designed to trigger itself automatically... It is designed to explode if any attempt is ever made to untrigger it...

Turgidson: That's a load of Commie bull and an obvious Commie trick.

Muffley: It's absolute madness.

Russian Ambassador: Our source was The New York Times.

Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm beginning to smell a big fat commie rat. I mean, supposing Kissov is lying about that fourth plane, just looking for an excuse to clobber us. I mean, if the spaghetti hits the fan, now we're really in trouble.

Muffley: Is there really a chance for that plane to get through?

Turgidson: Mr. President, if I may speak freely, the Russkie talks big, but frankly, we think he's short of know-how. I mean, you just can't expect a bunch of ignorant peons to understand a machine like some of our boys. And that's not meant as an insult, Mr. Ambassador, I mean, you, you take your average Russkie, we all know how much guts he's got. Hell, look, look at all them them Nazis killed off and they still wouldn't quit...if the pilot's good, see, I mean, if he's really..sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low [he spreads his arms like wings and laughs], you oughtta see it sometime, it's a sight. A big plane like a '52. VRROOM! There's jet exhaust, fryin' chickens in the barnyard.

Muffley: Yeah, but has he got a chance?

Turgidson: Has he got a chance? Hell, Ye...ye...