This is an essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. This page is not an encyclopedia article, nor is it one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. |
About two years ago, I made one of the worst decisions of my WikiLife. My RFA was a gigantic failure, and I lacked the maturity to understand that. I would like to apologize for my lack of maturity back then, two years later, I can clearly see my mistakes. To be honest, I am very glad that I was denied adminship, as my behavior would have been totally destructive towards Wikipedia.
My answers towards the questions come off as a complete joke today, my violent opposition to vandalism has changed. I misunderstood nearly every one of the policies regarding Wikipedian interactions with others. I failed to assume good faith, I fed the trolls, I didn't stay cool. I seriously and authentically am sorry for my misinformed opinions on Wikipedia. To think that I behaved like that once totally disgusts me, I acted like a troll towards fellow users, I treated Wikipedia as a source of social-networking, as a place to have mischievous fun. Needless to say, I totally misconstrued the meaning of Wikipedia. Despite a familiarity with WikiCode, not having the maturity to treat work seriously makes the most knowledgeable of scholars deeply destructive towards the project.
About a year and a half ago, took up admin coaching with Bibliomaniac15 to identify many of my problems, both ideological and Wiki-Wise. In retrospect, I find most of the problems that were identified came from a need to appeal to others: in short, I cared too much about what others thought of me, forgetting about my purpose as an editor in the first place.
My misunderstanding can also be traced to my level of knowledge at that time. I failed to understand the importance of civility, arbitration and the role of an administrator. I mistook the mop to be a "medal of honor", and pursued it without regard to those who may be affected by my actions. I have been through many real-life experiences since then, and those experiences have taught me a lot about myself and my interactions with others.
I've spent over a year editing sparsely, and after a long period of inactivity, I wish to make a return to Wikipedia. This time, I want to be a helpful and constructive editor. As a person, I have went through radical changes to my lifestyle and worldview, those changes have greatly impacted my ability to communicate and collaborate with others. Thus, I feel that I am now ready to contribute constructively.
I am deeply sorry about my past as an editor. From the Userpage Contest to my RFA as well as my non-constructive contributions to deletion discussions and RfAs, I want to apologize for everything.
Thank you.