User talk:BarkingFish

OK Guys, time for me to come clean about my problems back in April 2013.

For those of you who don't know, I was indefinitely blocked from the site for socking using at least 3 accounts. I was trapped after having a conversation with myself and someone who I said was someone else, but who wasn't, while I was on IRC using 2 clients. Immediately after, I retired from WP, and I claimed to have committed small amounts of vandalism to Wikipedia over the course of around 7 years and generally made myself out to be a mean, vicious little shit who had basically crapped on everything you stood for. It's time for me to tell you what actually happened, in the hope of finally clearing the air.

I had been working in Germany after leaving the UK, doing a lot of good work and helping to make a lot of children well. This was the life I wanted. The one I hoped and dreamed of. But it had a downside. Within 6 months of starting, I began to have problems with my capacity to operate and have since been removed from active duty as a medic.

My mental health has been a great concern to me over the last year - I am being medicated to help my stability and am now receiving voluntary treatment through my local mental health service. I am also no longer based in Germany. I have left my job and returned to the UK to settle down and be near my friends.

My blocking on Wikipedia was absolutely nothing to do with vandalism. I never vandalized a damn thing - I confessed a short while after receiving an email from User:Philippe (WMF) that what I'd actually done was nothing more than Suicide by administrator. I was stressed, breaking down and I'd had enough. I couldn't cope with WP, life, work, health... shit got too much. I took my own sword and gave it to someone else to kill me with.

I can't say much more to the community other than, I'm sorry I have caused you so much trouble. I will ask to be unblocked, it's unlikely to ever happen, but I would like to make a clean start and come back to a new place and a new me.

With warmest regards to the community,

BarkingFish