Zora,
Thanks for your recent message about my Aug 16 edits to Sholay. Let's just clear up a couple of things. One, this is wikipedia. What you claimed was "perfectly adequate" may not really be so. Also I'm not certain you're the best person to judge or enforce something on Sholay. (Please don't take this personally.) Two, I don't think it's a good idea for you to speculate on whether English is my first language. Again, please don't take it personally. You wrote "perfectly adequate"; if something is adequate it probably isn't perfect (and vice-versa). I'm not nitpicking. It's just that we may be talking about style here but wikipedia is about more than just style. Your writing style may be different than mine but let's focus on the message. I won't poke at your style if you don't poke at mine, OK? Let's focus on making the article better?
Now, on to your specific comments. You urged me to keep synopses short and succinct. That's a valid view but it may not be shared by others. Your reasons for brevity (mainly that it could spoil the suspense or bore the reader) may apply to the latest films but not to Sholay. (Have you seen the synopsis for "The Godfather"?) I had good reasons to write what I did. Here are some of the reasons:
- Sholay is a trailblazer in Hindi cinema. It set the standard for Hindi action films. My generation grew up watching Sholay (and others like it that followed). I'm not sure where you grew up, but I lived very near where Sholay was produced and filmed at the time. I also happen to have close friends in the Bollywood film business (particularly in the stunt department) *including* one of the guys who set up the dangerous and thrilling rail track scene. Sholay is a big deal for us and I think Wikipedia would benefit from our opinion.
- There are several elements that underpin the film. Words like daku, badla and izzat are used to frame that element; it is *just right* when they are in Hindi. (Hindi cinema didn't really know a daku could be as fearsome as Gabbar, for example.) Plain English sounds weak at best and lame at worst. (I'm not sure if you speak Hindi with any fluency. It's not a strict prerequisite but it's really helpful when you set out to review something as big as Sholay.)
- Your version isn't really perfect. "an entire life of", "had himself attempted", "being village India"? (Entire means complete but one-half of Radha's life is over.) Again, I'm not nitpicking. The point is that Wikipedia is *meant* for peer review so the quality of the articles gets better.
- And finally, I didn't replace your original synopsis. I merely rewrote some parts of it in the middle.
Okay, so that's my view. I hope this hasn't hurt your feelings. You said you are a firangi. It's also evident that you're interested in this. (Otherwise you wouldn't spend quite so much time editing/maintaining it.) Just let me offer a couple points of advice:
- One, practice tolerance. It will heighten your enjoyment of Sholay. Wikipedia is meant to share and improve the quality of information.
- Two, try learning Hindi (particularly Bhojpuri and/or Lucknowi) if you haven't already done so. This will frame several social and thematic elements so you could write with more authority on this kind of thing.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to say.
later,
Straight Talk
(PS - I can't seem to send a "return message" or put this at the bottom of the page. So please don't get mad; it was NOT my intention to have it at the top of your page.)