Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/Featured log/June 2013

• "such as Flight of Fear which was the worlds first linear induction motor launched roller coaster". "worlds" → "world's".

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 22:46, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Similar fix is needed later in the sentence.

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 22:46, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Kings Island newest attractions are...". "Island" → "Island's".

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 22:46, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Try not to start a sentence with a number, like in "17 years after the park opened".

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 22:46, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• The lead image could use alt text.

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 22:46, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Soak City: "In 1997, Kings Island expanded the water park to 15-acre". Last word should be plural. Giants2008 (Talk) 20:21, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--Dom497 (talk) 22:46, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "The park is known to have significant attractions such as Flight of Fear which was the world's first linear induction motor launched roller coaster, and The Beast which has held the record of the world's longest wooden roller coaster since its opening in 1979 and continues to be ranked as one of the best wooden roller coasters by industry polls." — this sentence is quite hard to follow and does not read particularly well.

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 00:41, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Might be good to add the date the park was opened. The second sentence says "Since the opening of the amusement park", but there is no context.

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 00:38, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Up until 1989, Kings Island did not have a water park. After 17 years of operation" — this is confusing, the reader has to do maths in their head (to work out the park opened in 1972). If the opening date is added earlier, then "After 17 years of operation" becomes redundant.

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 00:37, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Maybe establish that "Soak City" is "WaterWorks" somewhere in the lead.

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 00:37, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Should the height requirements include conversions to metres or centimetres?

I would say no. After all, it wasn't done here.--Dom497 (talk) 00:37, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I looked into it, according to MOS:CONVERSIONS conversions should be included in this case. They should be included in List of Canada's Wonderland attractions as well. - Shudde ^talk 09:47, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 23:21, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Considering the year rides were opened/added is mentioned in the lead, would it not be good to add this information to the list? - Shudde ^talk 11:56, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

KI website does not list all the attraction opening dates. It would be hard getting dates from reliable sources for the ones that are not listed on KI's website.--Dom497 (talk) 00:39, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, a bit of a shame. - Shudde ^talk 09:47, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 18:12, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Additionally:

• "Also, The Beast continues to be ranked as one of the best wooden roller coasters by industry polls." I'm not sure that [2] is a RS for this statement.

- Shudde ^talk 09:47, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 23:07, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This reference should have a page number. Also a date, volume number etc. I don't think a template:cite web is appropriate here, maybe journal rather than web? - Shudde ^talk 08:56, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--Dom497 (talk) 00:29, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Two dabs (Mason, Mondial)...

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "The park is known to have significant attractions " why not just "The park has attractions such as..."?

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "by industry polls. [3] " no spaces before refs.

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "one of the best wooden roller coasters" where, in Ohio? In the US? In the world?

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• What's a "lazy river"?

Added a link in the lead. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "WindSeeker during testing in 2011." no need for the period.

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "One of the many animatronic dinosaurs at Canada's Wonderland version of Dinosaurs Alive!, similar to Kings Island." ditto.

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Try making those images the same height, at least.

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Suspended Family Coaster" why the over capitalisation?!

That is a specific model name with a matching article. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• What's a Crazy Bus and what's a Mini Jet?

Added a link to Mini Jet. Dom, any ideas on how to handle Crazy Bus? Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'v added a link to the Zamperla website.--Dom497 (talk) 18:11, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• " 17 years after the park opened" what park?

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Mondo Monsoon in Soak City." no need for the period.

Fixed Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• I don't see the need for the blatant advertising external links.

I've pruned it to just the home page. Is that better or should I remove it as well? Themeparkgc  Talk  23:45, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:46, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• In the lead, write out numbers under ten per WP:ORDINAL. (I've taken care of this for you)

  Done.--Dom497 (talk) 13:16, 22 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• The sentence "All of the water slides and lazy river were refurbished along with an additional wave pool being constructed." sounds way too confusing at the end. Is the wave pool still being constructed? Consider rewording for clarity.

— DivaKnockouts 19:56, 21 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "is a Emmy Award that" -> "an Emmy..."
  •  Done
• "The award was introduced following two years of the ceremony being held off-air. [1] " remove space before ref, but what is the relevance of the off-air award ceremonies to this award?
  •  Done
• "one of the Daytime Emmy Awards presented" okay, so perhaps rather than "is an Emmy Award", it should be "is a Daytime Emmy Award"? Or, to avoid repetition, just have in the lead that "is an award..."
  •  Done
• I don't think a "child actor" is an appropriate link for people who can win the award up to the age of 25.
  •  Done
• "While the other actors nominated in the category were over 25.[3]" this is not a sentence, it should be merged with the previous one.
  •  Done
• "has held the most wins" -> "holds the most".
  •  Done
• Why does Bryan Buffington not have an article?
  • Buffington's does not have an article, since no one created one. Therefore, what should I do?
    • Could write one? Or red link it if he passes WP:N. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:39, 18 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      •  Done. Thank you again. :) SoapFan12 09:40, 19 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "Indicates the winning performance." -> "Indicates the winning actor"
  •  Done
• "Table heading of "Actress" should probably say "Actor"?
  •  Done
• MOS:DTT compliance required, row and col scopes needed please.
  •  Done
• Ref 4 is incomplete, needs access date etc.
  •  Done

The Rambling Man (talk) 13:48, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, I have fixed and corrected everything. Thank you :) SoapFan12 22:39, 17 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Here are a few concerns I have:

• "...Drama Series is a Emmy Award..." ---> "is an Emmy Award"
  •  Done
• "It is an award presented annually..." ---> "It is presented annually..."
  •  Done
• "to recognize a young actor under the age of 25, who has delivered an outstanding performance in a role while working within the daytime drama industry" ---> IMO this should be reworded to something like "in recognition of a young actor below the age of 25...", just a suggestion, though.
  •  Done
• In the lead "Daytime Emmy Award at the time at age 15.[1] while the other actors" ---> is this meant to be a period or comma? Fix it.
  •  Done
• "Its most recent recipient is Chandler Massey, for the role of Will Horton, on Days of our Lives" ---> just another suggestion but this should be reworded to something else like "The most recent recipient of the award is Chandler Massey, for his role of Will Horton on Days of our Lives".
  •  Done
• "In 2000, he also became the actor to have received the most nominations, with six" ---> "...with a total of six", this sounds more proper.
  •  Done
• "later reached five nominations as well" ---> "...have also received five nominations each".
  •  Done
• Just out of curiosity, is there an actual need for the Double-dagger image here?
  • It is needed for WP:ACCESS, they don't need bold.
• In each image of an actor who has been recognized in this category, I feel that the show they play the character on should also be stated. Especially in cases like Dondre Whitfield; it appears that the character he plays/played doesn't have an article, so the title of the series should be added.
  •  Done
• Joshua Morrow's image: Please add (left). We all know who is who in that picture, but it's just more proper that way.
  •  Done
• Same with Scott Clifton's image, add (left)
  •  Done
• Chandler Massey caption: "In 2012, Chandler Massey was the first actor to win a Daytime Emmy Award for playing a gay character.[3] He receive the award again in 2013" ---> "Chandler Massey is the first actor to receive the award for portraying a gay character, having won in 2012 and 2013 for his role of William Horton (or Will, whichever is common) on Days of our Lives."
  •  Done
• Under "Total awards won": Days Of Our Lives ---> Days of our Lives
  •  Done
• Ref 48: Convert POPSUGAR to PopSugar.
  •  Done
• Ref 59: Remove the brackets from "emmyonlinetv".
  •  Done

Once these points have been addressed I'd be happy to support this as a Featured list :). Regards, Arre 09:14, 24 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

These concerns have been all addressed. Thanks for reviewing the article! SoapFan12 10:54, 24 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again for taking a look at the article :)! It's greatly appreciated. SoapFan12 02:15, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Sorry but there are just a couple more points I have before supporting:
• "The most recent recipient of the award is Chandler Massey, for the role of Will Horton, on Days of our Lives." ---> "The most recent recipient of the award is Chandler Massey for his portrayal of Will Horton on Days of our Lives".
  •  Done
• "Currently, Guiding Light has the most recipients of this award, with a total of seven wins." ---> remove "currently". Also I think it is worth noting that Guiding Light is defunct.
  •  Done. Also I believe that Guiding Light is needed since for the leads you need to cover every sections of the article. Am I right? Do you know what i mean?
• "The criteria later changed to require the actor to be 25 years old or younger to be eligible to win" ---> Can you state which year the criteria was altered? Instead of just stating "later"? Also, too many "to"s, this sentence needs rewording. Before, it should be clarified that there was some sort of controversy or the rules were different. Because there is nothing stated about the criteria before. I hope you know what I mean, this sentence just doesn't flow well.
  •  Done
• "Since 1999, Jonathan Jackson holds the most wins with three awards for his role as Lucky Spencer on General Hospital" ---> "Since 1999, Jonathan Jackson has held the most wins with a total of three from six nominations for his role as Lucky Spencer..."
  •  Done

• It sounds odd still... As I said, add "has" before "held".

• "In 2000, he also became the actor to have received the most nominations, with a total of six, beating Bryan Buffington's record of five." ---> "In 2000, Jackson also became the actor to have received the most nominations, surpassing Bryan Buffington's..."
  •  Done

• Also, where it says "Bryan Buffington's record of five", add "tally" after "record", just to add a bit of variety in wording.

• •  Done
• Another thing, in the info-box it says "best" performance. Is this an official description?, or shouldn't "best" be "outstanding" performance?
  •  Done

Arre 06:43, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again Arre! This means a lot that you have been able to do this. :) SoapFan12 10:51, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• To avoid the italics for "National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences" that are in the work parameter, you could add around the academy name, or just move "National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences" behind the emmy online website in publisher.
  •  Done
• "The criteria was altered, requiring the actor will not be eligible to win unless they are 25 years old or younger" ---> this sounds even more awkward, try wording it differently. Just say "The criteria was altered, requiring that the actor be 25 years old or below". Also, I feel like it still sounds really awkward to say randomly in the lead. Maybe all of the requirements should be in the first paragraph, and record-breakers/milestones should be in the second paragraph. It just doesn't flow well.
  •  Done
• "Networks had declined to broadcast the show during a time of voting integrity rumors and waning interest." ---> is there a source for this?
  •  Done
• Ref 3: "AfterEllen.com and TheBacklot.com" should not be in italics.
  •  Done

Arre 06:27, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! :)

• "Since 1999, Jonathan Jackson held the most wins" ---> still haven't added "has" before held..
  •  Done
• First paragraph is too big compared to second. Like I said. Move "The most recent recipient of the award is Chandler Massey, for his portrayal of Will Horton, on Days of our Lives. Guiding Light has the most recipients of this award, with a total of seven wins." to the second paragraph.
  •  Done
• "The criteria was altered, requiring that the actor to be 25 years old or below" ---> you can add "later" now considering you have mentioned some things about this directly before. Change it to "The criteria was later altered, requiring that the actor be aged 25 or below".
  •  Done
• I was just wondering, is there a "previously known as" or former name parameter for the info-box? If there is it would be helpful to list the former name of the award there, instead of having it bold & in the lead.
  • No there isn't. I have checked the Template:Infobox award and unfortunately there is no parameter .

Arre 14:11, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

These concerns have been addressed. I am very sorry for the delayed. Thanks! SoapFan12 14:23, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "The criteria was later altered, requiring that the actor to be 25 years old or below." ---> this line still hasn't been adjusted, please see above.
  •  Done
• "Years before this category was introduce" ---> introduced
  •  Done
• "networks had declined" ---> remove "had"
  •  Done

Arre 11:20, 29 June 2013 (UTC) Fixes and done. Thanks! :) SoapFan12 11:31, 29 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "The criteria was later changed making it actors 25 years old or younger are eligible to win" sounds improper. Change it to "The criteria was later altered, requiring that the actor be aged 25 or below".

After this is fixed I'll support :) Arre 11:36, 29 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

•  Done. SoapFan12 11:39, 29 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• For the Google News archive sources, at the very least include a page number so that it remains verifiable if Google News goes down.
  •  Done
• Suggest archiving other online sources with webcitation.org
  • I'm sorry but I don't understand what you mean. What do you want me to do?
    • You can use this page (step-by-step instructions there) to manually archive all online references (except Google News), which will guarantee they remain accessible even if the site goes down. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:06, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      •  Done
• Any way to avoid the white spaces in sections 2 through 4?
  • I have none. Do you have any suggestions?
    • I was thinking columns, but that's hard to do with tables. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:06, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • I believe that this is not necessarily major problem. Therefore, I think I should just leave it alone.
• the 12th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards ceremony in 1985. It is presented annually - Annual / annually
  • I do not understand what I need to change. Can you please clarify?
    • The repetition of annual/annually is redundant. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:06, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      •  Done
• Networks had declined to broadcast the show during a time of voting integrity rumors and waning interest. - when?
  • They don't say when, it just says that the networks had declined in the source.
    • In any other sources? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:06, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      •  Done
• Not really keen on having "must be under 25", "these guys were over 25", "the rules were changed in 2007". Particularly since that opens the possibility for numerous over-25 winners between 1985 and 2006 (inclusive).
  • Well, I believe that I've made a mistake because it numerous sources they don't tell us when the rules were changed however in 2007 they forced that rule.
    • Might need to double check then. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:06, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Same situation as the columns : I believe that that the year is not necessarily major problem. Therefore, I think I should just leave it alone.
        • Alright, so long as there is no inaccurate information. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:09, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Images all look fine. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:18, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing. Sorry if I have too many questions :O/:(. SoapFan12 17:10, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again! :) SoapFan12 12:55, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Ref. 3 needs a date retrieved
  •  Done
• emmyonline.org → EmmyOnline.org and PRNewswire.com (my personal preference, you don't have to change it)
  • I rather not change it.
• National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences → shouldn't be in italics
  • How do you remove the italics? Do I remove the whole work section off?
• Ref 43 → add

• All dates in refs. should be written in the same way (See refs. 4 + 9).
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 13:08, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Still needs to be fixed in refs. 15 + 16 – Underneath-it-All (talk) 17:03, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 18:05, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Refs 8, 10, 14 + 17 → add The Times Group as the publisher.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 13:08, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Ref 10 looks incomplete.
  • Looks compete to me. Can you point out which information is missing. —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 13:08, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • It was in this edit but it has since been fixed by another user. – Underneath-it-All (talk) 17:03, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Ref 12 → add Indian Express Group as the publisher.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 13:08, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

– Underneath-it-All (talk) 17:59, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "thrice" -> three times.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "India missed out on only a single year " do you really just mean "On only one occasion did India did not submit a film"?
  • Yup! DO you want to rephrase the sentence? —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • I just suggested how to! The Rambling Man (talk) 13:33, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 18:04, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• " Tamil films " and "Tamil actor" both link just "Tamil" but to different articles, could be confusing.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Language(s) seem to be using the lang templates which puts them in small text and parentheses, any reason why normal, linked languages aren't used?
  • It was listed in that fashion even before I started working on the list. Do you want to change it to linked languages? —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • I think it would be more appropriate. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:33, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 18:04, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Our article on Swathi Muthyam has no h's in the title.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "Eklavya - The Royal Guard" either use an en-dash or a colon (per our own article title).
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Check WP:DASH in reference titles.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• You don't need Category:Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film as it's already using a more refined category of Category:Best Foreign Language Film Academy Award submissions by country.

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:10, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 06:47, 15 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• The Best Foreign Language Film category was not created until 1956; however, between 1947 and 1955, the Academy presented a non-competitive Honorary Award for the best foreign language films released in the United States. - Relevance? Also, this paragraph kinda leaps all about.
  • I think this adds some relevance to this list, as it gives an overview about this category. —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 04:09, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• when they controversially - India is a country, not a person. You're likely looking for whatever body is in charge of selecting the nomination.
  • Done. FFI is the body —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 04:09, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• The 1957 Hindi film Mother India was India's first submission. The film made it to the final shortlist and was nominated alongside four other films in the category. It came close to winning the Academy Award but lost to Nights of Cabiria by a single vote. - Ultra short paragraph, should be merged somewhere.
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 04:09, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• In 2011, the jury of the 58th National Film Awards made a recommendation that movies winning Best Film at the annual National Film Awards should be the official entry. - How was this received?
  • Done —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 04:29, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• I've copyedited, be sure to check. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:50, 21 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Checked and thanks! —Vensatry _{(Ping me)} 04:09, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Done.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "released through Immortal and Virgin" → released through Immortal and Virgin Records

  Fixed.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "peaked at number 107 on the Billboard 200 " → US Billboard 200. Please do this for all the Billboard charts. We shouldn't assume people know these charts are from the US.

  Done.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "selling more than two million copies worldwide over the years" → as of when? (WP:ASOF)

  Added date.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "including a platinum in the United States." → including platinum in the United States.

  Done.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Add Prometheus Global Media as the publisher for all Billboard references.

  Added.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• For all Hung Medien references: cite web|url=http://austriancharts.at/showinterpret.asp?interpret=30+Seconds+To+Mars|title=Discography 30 Seconds to Mars|publisher=australian-charts.com. Hung Medien|accessdate=19 March 2013 > cite web|url=http://austriancharts.at/showinterpret.asp?interpret=30+Seconds+To+Mars|title=Discography 30 Seconds to Mars|publisher=Australian Charts Portal. Hung Medien (Steffen Hung)|last=Hung|first=Steffen|accessdate=19 March 2013. Adjust similar references in this style.

  Done.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• For RIAA reference (add information on how to search): cite web|title=RIAA – Searchable Database: 30 Seconds to Mars|publisher=[[Recording Industry Association of America]]|url=http://www.riaa.com/goldandplatinumdata.php?artist=%2230%20Seconds%20to%20Mars%22|accessdate=18 July 2010|format=To access, enter "30 Seconds to Mars" into the "Search" box, then select "Search". Do this with the BPI reference as well.

  Done for the BPI reference. For the RIAA reference it's unnecessary, the source is a direct link to the band's certifications.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Wikilink Rovi Corporation in all Allmusic references.

  Done.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Add Viacom Media Networks as a publisher for all MTV references → not MTV Networks

  Added.--Earthh (talk) 08:53, 25 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

– Underneath-it-All (talk) 23:02, 24 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Ref 27 is dead but there should be an archived version at the WebCite archive.

  Added archived version.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Don't mix three and 11 in the same sentence.

  Fixed.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Edge of the Earth" just redirects back to the album, surely we could write even a stub for this?

  The article was deleted after a discussion, I don't know if I'm allowed to rewrite it.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  You can do whatever is required to counter the arguments for deletion, but I guess as this never charted, then it's not worth having an article about it. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:45, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  Actually it charted at number five on the UK Rock Chart in 2008, among other songs from the album (ref 3).--Earthh (talk) 17:06, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  Ok, that's not shown in this list, that's why I missed that fact. I'm not familiar with the music project's concept of notability for singles, so I'm not sure if that's suitably notable for a standalone article? The Rambling Man (talk) 17:11, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  Reading WP:NSONGS I think that's suitably notable for a standalone article.--Earthh (talk) 17:17, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  I've just created the article for the song.--Earthh (talk) 17:01, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Link "certifications" suitably.

  Done.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "most added track on alternative radio " context needed, like, in the US? In the UK?

  Added.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "After a $30 million lawsuit by EMI concluded with a new contract," could explain this a little further.

  Done.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Where is Love, Lust, Faith and Dreams referenced?

  Added source.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Same question for AOL Sessions Undercover and To the Edge of the Earth EPs and "Edge of the Earth" single?

  Added sources.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Table heading for EPs is incorrect.

  Fixed.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Musica e Dischi (not Musica e dischi)

  Fixed.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• PDF refs normally have format=pdf in the citation.

  Added.--Earthh (talk) 16:04, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:22, 21 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• I'd change "three EPs" in the lead to "three extended plays", in order to keep it consistent with the section headings.

• Changed.--Earthh (talk) 14:56, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Formats: digital download" → "Formats: Digital download"

• Done.--Earthh (talk) 14:56, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• I see terms such as "Australian Charts Portal" being used for some chart references, but a run-through of the Hung Medien sites shows that this wording isn't even used on the sites. I'd rather use the actual names of the sites ("australian-charts.com" or "ultratop.be", for example).

• Done.--Earthh (talk) 14:56, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Still, great work. Will be happy to support when my comments are addressed. Holiday56 (talk) 10:38, 25 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• My apologies for taking a few days to get back to this; I didn't see your comment up here until just now. I've removed the sort function for these columns. Are there any further issues that you see? Thank you for the comment, Dana boomer (talk) 19:05, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Comments

• "Forty-eight individuals have held the position of state governor, with the first female governor, Jennifer Granholm being elected in 2003." This sentence doesn't feel right to me. My impulse is to say there should be a comma after Granholm and "being" should say "having been". Also possibly no comma after the first governor.
• "Governors originally held the position for two years, until the 1963 Michigan Constitution changed the term to four years." What does "originally" mean here? From the creation of the territory? Also, a term was two years, but the office could be held longer than that. Be more precise.
• "Should the office of governor become vacant, the lieutenant governor becomes governor. Prior to the current constitution, the office would devolve upon the lieutenant governor." What if there is no lieutenant governor? Is there an order of succession? If so, is it within the scope of the article to mention it? Also, the second sentence there seems redundant, as if is just restating the previous sentence. There is a huge difference between "Become" and "devolve"? Be more precise.
• Why are some lieutenant governors from a different party than the governor? The section of the article preceding the list should at least explain that prior to the 1963 constitution the two positions were elected separately, and also state that now they are elected on the same ticket. Take a look at List of Governors of Alaska, the way it explains how it is done now, and how it later talks about differences that existed under previous versions of the state constitution. Rejectwater (talk) 11:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you for the further comments. I believe I have addressed them all. Dana boomer (talk) 21:04, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Four paras in the lead is at least one too many, especially when two of them are just two-sentence paras.
• First para of lead, all four sentences start with "The (G/g)overner..."
• You could link term limit in there somewhere.
• Never like the hash symbol for "number", can we use "No."?
• Any reason the table isn't sortable? E.g. I may wish to see all the Republicans in one block...
• You have Lieutenant Governor linked in the table heading but not in the lead.
• You have "U.S. state" but "US House"... don't mix these in the same article.
• Note a is unreferenced but note i is referenced, yet they provide similar information...
• Note d needs a period.

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:14, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, TRM! I was actually about to ping you to see if you would comment :) I believe I have addressed all of your comments; please let me know if there are further issues. Dana boomer (talk) 19:03, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

No worries! Just one thing, now the table is sortable (good thing!), you need to link every linkable item every time.... The Rambling Man (talk) 19:37, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I think I have addressed this. Dana boomer (talk) 11:02, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• No need for two George W. Romney links in the lead.
• The tables should be sorting by last name, not first name. There are sort templates that can help with this, if you encounter trouble.
• There's no advantage in making notes columns sortable, so I suggest dropping sortability there.
• Same goes for the Source column in Other high offices held.
• Note 4: "Resigned to take an seat in the United States Senate." "an" → "a".
• Refs 11 and 12 should have their page ranges formatted like ref 9, with en dashes and pp. Giants2008 (Talk) 00:37, 29 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Thank you for the comments, Giants. I believe I have resolved all of the above. Dana boomer (talk) 19:05, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "six studio albums, two compilation albums, three extended plays, 19 singles (including two promotional releases) and 13 music videos" -> nineteen, thirteen. Comparable figures should be written the same way, i.e. either numbers or words.
• Why doesn't "Don't Wanna Know 'Bout Evil" appear in this discog?
• " it was only issued in" normally say "released"?
• "in the United Kingdom and" bit easter egg. You didn't link Japan and you UK but it's actually the UK charts, so perhaps rephrase to say "in the United Kingdom charts" or something similar?
• "Central Reservation followed " I know it's in italics (in the article) but it's worth noting this was another album.
• "Where Do I Begin" not referenced.

The Rambling Man (talk) 19:04, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done and thank you! – Underneath-it-All (talk) 22:29, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• File:Beth Orton.jpg has the correct copyright info but really should be cropped. I mean, it's essentially useless for the infobox.
  • Added a cropped version of the photo. – Underneath-it-All (talk) 16:08, 7 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• it was only released in Japan. - why?
  • To be honest I'm not sure. There isn't a lot of information about the release. The only pressing were made by Toshiba EMI in Japan. UK and US promotional pressings of the single "Don't Wanna Know 'Bout Evil" from the album were created but never officially released. – Underneath-it-All (talk) 16:08, 7 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• number eight in the UK and number 40 - Apples and oranges shouldn't be mixed, per WP:NUMERAL.
  • Fixed – Underneath-it-All (talk) 16:08, 7 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Aren't the music videos and other media worth mentioning? Anything which received particularly good reviews? Any sales figures? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:27, 7 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • I haven't been able to find any reliable sales figures for her albums. Only stuff on fan forums. I would mention DVDs, etc. but none have ever been officially released. – Underneath-it-All (talk) 16:08, 7 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Image caption doesn't need a full stop, it's not a complete sentence.
  • Complete. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:24, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Similarly the text in the Key.
  • Complete. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:24, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Tables need to comply with MOS:DTT with regard to col and row scopes.
  • Added scopes to all rows and columns. Should be complete. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 15:14, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• " Codenamed Project Mars" no need for the bold, perhaps italics or in quotes.
  • Complete. Changed to quotes. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:24, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "of games. A total of 40 games were produced, including six games" too many "games", reads repetitively.
  • Fixed. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 15:14, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "Sega of Japan, but Sega of America R&D head Joe Miller convinced Sega of Japan to strengthen the console and convert it into an add-on to the existing Sega Genesis." I know this is going to sound boring, but is there a way we could avoid using "Sega" four times in one sentence?
  • Done. Reworked the sentence to eliminate that. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 15:14, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Make sure ref titles comply with WP:DASH and don't have SHOUTING.
  • I believe that should be them all. Complete. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 15:14, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:25, 30 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your comments. I've addressed all of them. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 15:14, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Strongly suggest adding a ref column instead of having refs piled into the individual boxes. Looks much neater.
  • Done. I wish I would've thought of that first; I was wondering if there was a better way to approach those references. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:19, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• A total of 40 titles were produced, including six that required both the Sega 32X and Sega Mega-CD add-ons. - Per WP:NUMERAL we should not have 40 and six, but 40 and 6 or forty and six.
  • Done. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:19, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• strengthened - Huh?
  • Reworded that sentence to make more sense. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:19, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Anything about the games themselves? A common genre, or one which sold really well? This is, after all, a list of games.
  • I put in a sourced comment about some things about the games themselves; notably, their poor quality. It's hard to say there's any one that sold really well, because the whole console was a massive commercial failure, and the games library was a factor in that. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:19, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • The IGN article (reference 2) points out Star Wars Arcade, an arcade perfect Space Harrier, and Kolibri as three break out titles for the system. IGN reviews themselves cite Star Wars Arcade, Virtua Racing Deluxe, and Shadow Squadron as the three "must gets". Blackthorne has the highest IGN community rating of a 32X game. (just, if this information helps any)--SexyKick 21:09, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • I think we're good, thanks for your help. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 00:08, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        • If we do have figures for the best-selling games, that would be really useful for the readers. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:43, 3 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
          • I'm not sure we have those figures, simply because the console itself didn't sell well enough for the individual games' sales figures to be notable. I am trying to dig and find some, but they're just not there; that IGN article SexyKick references is more from a cult classic perspective. If the sources simply aren't out there to get these numbers, is this going to be a deal breaker? Although I agree it would be a helpful statistic and might provide an interesting fact, I don't think the article falls short of any of the criteria without it. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 01:47, 5 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
            • • No, not a deal breaker. But it would definitely be nice to actually have what the best-selling or best-remembered game(s) on the system were. Even without hard numbers. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:31, 5 June 2013 (UTC)\[reply]
                • Done - Now that I can do, and I completely agree that that's a good idea. I've used the IGN article to list out a few of the most notable games released for the 32X. Let me know what more I can do; if nothing, I look forward to your support. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...}_{remember the past...} 03:27, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
                  • Looking much better. Last request: anything considered the best 32X game by one or more notable publications? I know they've done surveys for more successful systems, but I'm not quite sure of this. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:33, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
                    • The IGN article I've made reference to a few times claims that Star Wars Arcade is the best. I'm not sure how would be the best way to write that into the lead, though. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...}_{remember the past...} 03:59, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• IGN, in a (retrospective review of the system?), considered Star Wars Arcade the best 32X game, as (reason)", perhaps? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:08, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Done Red Phoenix ^{build the future...}_{remember the past...} 12:10, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Yes, almost. Just need to explicitly mention IGN in the sentence (per WP:INTEXT) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:29, 6 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Otherwise quite solid. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 09:37, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thank you. I believe I have resolved all of your comments. Red Phoenix ^{build the future...remember the past...} 13:19, 2 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "The series has broadcast 106 episodes since its debut on" -> "There have been 106 episodes of series since..." (i.e. it didn't broadcast itself).
  • Rewritten. Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Odd to see the season template above the lead image. In fact, I'm not even sure you need that season template at all, after all you've got a list of "seasons" first up.
  • Removed. Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "of two friends" -> insert "animal" perhaps?
  • Seems implied by the next part of the sentence. Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "who are both employed" -> "both of whom are employed..."
  • Rewritten. Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "It has attained two" why not "It has won"
  • It only won one of the two nominations. Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Why no viewing figures for several episodes?
  • No sources available. Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "303/305" why two prod codes for a single episode with three segments? (and 404/405)
  • Two segments make up the first production code, while the third, longest segment makes up the second code. See the comment below for more info. Holiday56 (talk) 05:07, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "401/402" why two prod codes for a single episode? (and 411/412)
  • Certain special episodes with longer-than-usual running times (such as holiday specials) are counted as one episode overall, but as two episodes production-wise (for another example, see The Office (U.S. TV series) episodes, which is a featured list). Holiday56 (talk) 03:55, 31 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:24, 30 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "regular municipalities (gemeenten) and 3 public bodies (special municipalities)" the first parenthesised italic text is Dutch, the second is not, this is inconsistent.

Fixed CRwikiCA talk 16:08, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Municipalities are the second-level administrative division" vs "Municipalities are the third tier of public administration" is confusing for me.

Fixed CRwikiCA talk 16:08, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• ".[9][10][5]" would prefer refs in numerical order.

Fixed CRwikiCA talk 16:08, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Don't think it's strictly necessary to link "neighbourhood".

Fixed CRwikiCA talk 16:08, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "As of 2011" it's now 2013, is this still accurate?

Since I initially wrote it, the 2012 data is available and I updated the numbers accordingly. CRwikiCA talk 16:41, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• In the population col, you put commas after thousands (e.g. 1,101), in the population density col you don't (e.g. 6131).

I changed this to have consistent thousands separators in the number formatting. CRwikiCA talk 17:25, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:16, 21 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your valuable comments, I will address them in the coming days. CRwikiCA talk 16:08, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I have addressed all comments above and improved the list accordingly. Please let me know if you would have any further suggestions. Thanks CRwikiCA talk 17:25, 23 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• "Municipalities are the second-level administrative division in the Netherlands, they are subdivisions of their respective provinces." --> "Municipalities are second-level administrative divisions in the Netherlands and are subdivisions of their respective provinces."
• "Municipalities are the second-level administrative division,..." is repeated in the second section.
• "...public services, among others these are land-use planning,..." --> "...public services, which include land-use planning,..."
• "local roads..." what? Management, maintenance?
• "...Netherlands Antilles in 2010 three special municipalities (officially public bodies) were formed, these municipalities function the same as regular municipalities." --> "...Netherlands Antilles in 2010, three special municipalities (officially public bodies) were formed. These municipalities function the same as regular municipalities and are grouped together as the Caribbean Netherlands and are not part of a province."
• "...distributed freely between mayor and aldermen, the exact portfolio for each person..." --> "distributed freely between mayor and aldermen. The exact portfolio for each person..."
• "The Municipalities Act of 1851, which was written by prime minister Thorbecke,..." --> "The Municipalities Act of 1851, written by prime minister Thorbecke,..."
• "Throughout the years less populous municipalities have been merged, they were either added to the larger neighbouring cities or multiple smaller municipalities merged into a larger new municipality with a new name." --> "Throughout the years, less populous municipalities have been merged. They were either added to larger neighbouring cities or multiple smaller municipalities were merged into a larger municipality with a new name."
• "In 1850 there were 1,209 municipalities, this decreased to 1,121 in 1900, 1,015 in 1950 and 537 in 2000." Is this sentence absolutely necessary? The tiny table at the side already has all the information.
• "During this time multiple mergers occurred simultaneously in large parts of individual provinces, the municipal boundaries were basically redrawn in these regions." --> "During this time, multiple mergers occurred simultaneously in large parts of individual provinces; the municipal boundaries were basically redrawn in these regions."
• "In the 19th and large parts of the 20th century, municipal mergers were forced by the central government."
• "...the decision making process." --> ""...the decision-making process."
• "...an increasing workload, because more public services..." --> "...an increasing workload because more public services..."
• "This right and the submunicipalities themselves will cease to exist in the near future." Explain why.
• "For administrative use by municipalities themselves and data..."
• "As of 2012 the municipalities in the Netherlands were subdivided into 2,621 districts and 11,896 neighbourhoods." --> "As of 2012, the municipalities in the Netherlands are subdivided into 2,621 districts and 11,896 neighbourhoods."Raykyogrou0 (Talk) 16:30, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your criticism, I tried to address all your concerns. Let me know if you would have any additional concerns or would like to see them handled differently. CRwikiCA talk 18:00, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

It looks very good. Just one more:

• "As a second level administrative division municipalities are the the third tier of public..." --> "As a second level administrative division, municipalities are the the third tier of public..." Raykyogrou0 (Talk) 21:46, 13 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done CRwikiCA talk 21:08, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• From what I can see, het Bildt is the only name not to begin with a capital letter – is this standard?

Good eyes, as far as I know this is the exception, even their municipal website (and logo) maintains this. CRwikiCA talk 21:21, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• The "List of municipalities" header doesn't need the first two words.

Fixed CRwikiCA talk 21:21, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• Geography of the Netherlands and List of cities in the Netherlands by province are both already linked to in the "Netherlands topics" navbox, so don't need to be listed in the SA section.

Fixed CRwikiCA talk 21:21, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Other than that, it looks good. Incidentally, I've got my own FLC: List of UK Official Download Chart number-one singles from the 2000s. If you have the time, I welcome any comments on it. Thanks very much! A Thousand Doors (talk | contribs) 00:00, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your criticism, I tried to repay the favour, but your FL was already closed when I got to it. I addressed your points under each heading. CRwikiCA talk 21:21, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• For an FL, a lead should really be longer than one smallish paragraph. There's more than enough material in the next section that can be summarized in another paragraph, at least.
• Municipal status: "lead to the disappearance of small municipalities." "lead" → "led"?
• "This policy changed in the end of the 20th century, local support for the merger is now a large part of the decision-making process." Minor, but the comma should probably be a semi-colon instead. Giants2008 (Talk) 21:26, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• Oh, and I still saw the first two words of the List of municipalities header. Looks like you might have missed that in your earlier edits. Giants2008 (Talk) 21:27, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your criticism. I changed and expanded the lead, let me know what you think about the expanded version. I changed the other 2 points. The section title was updated, but it sometimes takes a few minutes before it gets changed on the Wikipedia servers because of the size of the list, so your browser might not have had the latest version at that point. CRwikiCA talk 21:57, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• In the new paragraph I see "Amsterdam is has highest population". This would be better as "Amsterdam has the highest population". Giants2008 (Talk) 01:23, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

FixedCRwikiCA talk 13:37, 20 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Still doesn't look right without the "the" that I recommended be included. Giants2008 (Talk) 20:08, 21 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed now, I was too sloppy the first time around... CRwikiCA talk 23:03, 21 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]